The visitor

One evening, Rabbi Levy is visited by a stranger. “Yes,” he says, “can I help you?”

“Life is very hard for some,” says the visitor. “I thought you should know about the problems facing one of your congregants.”

“So tell me already,” says the rabbi.

“Well,” says the man, “your Mrs. Goldman owes a moneylender over $1,000 and she hasn’t got the money to pay him back. She’s being thrown out her house this week, she’s too ill to work and she can’t feed her children.”

“It’s a terrible life, indeed,” says the rabbi. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll raise some money from the synagogue straight away — I’ll even donate $100 of my own money.

“But tell me, my friend, are you a relative of Mrs. Goldman?”

“Don’t be silly, rabbi,” he replies. “I’m the moneylender.”

A question of flight

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A: If they flew over the bay, they’d be “Bay-gulls.”

Long-lasting medicine

Sadie is 80 years old and under the care of Dr. Myers. One day, she phones him and says, “Is it true, doctor, the medicine you’ve just prescribed for me must be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes Sadie, I’m afraid it is,” he replies.

Sadie thought for a while, then continued, “Well, doctor, I’m wondering just how serious is my condition.”

“Why do you ask?” he wants to know.

Sadie replies: “Because on the prescription, it says, ‘No repeat prescriptions.'”

Bible story

Rebecca is reading a Bible story to her young daughter, Emma.

“The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt,” Rebecca says.

Emma asks, “What happened to the flea, mommy?”