The fantasy

Ask any man and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in the Jewish version of this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

The third trip

Did you know that Moses had to make a third trip up to the top of Mount Sinai?

Well, on this third trip, Moses arrived at the burning bush after much climbing, removed his sandals, kneeled and prayed to God.

“Oh mighty God, King of the Universe, your people have sent me back here to ask you a question about the Ten Commandments.”

“What question do they have for me?” roared the voice of God.

“They want to know whether the commandments are listed according to priority.”

Homecoming

Moshe had been away on a lengthy business trip and on the plane back home, he began thinking of all the romantic things he would do on his return. So when he came home, he quietly suggested to Becky that they go to bed early that night.

But Becky said, “Oh Moshe, I’m so tired from looking after the house all the time you were away. Please, another time if you don’t mind.”

The next night Moshe asked again. Becky said, “Oy vey, Moshe, such a terrible headache I’ve got. I won’t be able to do anything and it wouldn’t be any good. Please, wait a bit longer.”

On the third night, Moshe had gotten just a little impatient. “How about it?” he said, a bit abruptly.

Becky snapped back at him, “Moshe. This is the third night in a row you’ve asked me. What are you, some kind of sex maniac?”