A Sabbath lesson

Rabbi Finkelstein was an avid golfer and played at every opportunity.

Early one Shabbat morning, Rabbi Finkelstein thought to himself, “Who is it going to get hurt if I go out and play a few rounds? Nobody will be the wiser and I’ll be back in time for services.”

So Rabbi Finkelstein snuck out of his house and headed straight for the golf course.

Looking down upon him were and God and one of God’s angels.

The angel said, “Look what that rabbi is doing on Your Sabbath! Shanda! What will You do, Almighty?”

God replied, “I’ll teach him a lesson.”

On the golf course, Rabbi Finkelstein teed off and when he hit the ball, it careened off a tree, struck a rock, flew across a stream and landed in the hole for a hole in one.

Seeing all this, the angel yelled, “Holy One, this is how you’re going to teach him a lesson? He got a hole in one!”

“Yes,” said God. “But who is he going to tell?”

Watch your coat

The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: “Watch Your Hat And Overcoat.”

So Meyer did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal Moshe kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook.

Finally Moshe said, “Meyer, you’re going to give yourself indigestion. Stop watching our overcoats.”

“I’m only watching mine,” replied Meyer. “Yours has been gone for over half an hour.”

Enough with the jokes already

A regular reader of this column loved to quote it to his wife. One morning after reading j. he began:

“Mandelbaum and Rosenstein were talking one day … “

Right away, his wife interrupts him. “Always with the Jewish jokes! Give it a rest! Why do they always have to be about Jews?”

So he starts again. “Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew’s bar mitzvah … “