Girls night
Four Jewish bubbes convene for their weekly mah jongg game, going on 20 years.
The first bubbe says, “You know, girls, I’ve known you all for a long time and there’s something I must get off my chest. I’m a kleptomaniac. But don’t worry, I’ve never stolen from you and I never will — we’ve been friends for too long.”
The second bubbe says, “Well, since we’re having true confessions here, I’ve got one, too. I’m a nymphomaniac. But don’t worry, I’ve never hit on your husbands — we’ve have been friends for too long.”
“Well,” says the third bubbe, “I too must confess something. I am a lesbian. But don’t worry, I would never jeopardize our weekly game by introducing romance — we’ve been friends too long.”
The fourth bubbe throws down her tiles, stands up and grabs her coat. “I have a confession, also. I am a yenta and I have some phone calls to make.”
Biblical humor
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down.
Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why
he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.