Cussin’ bubbe

Q: How do you get your sweet little 80-year-old grandmother to swear like a sailor?

A: Get someone else’s sweet little 80-year-old grandmother to yell BINGO!

Kosher ‘Ham’

A new ending, especially for Jewish children, to the Dr. Seuss book “Green Eggs and Ham”:

Ham and eggs,
I’ll never see,
They are not kosher,
So let me be!

I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I will not eat them, Sam-I-am.
But I’ll eat green eggs with a biscuit,
Or I will try them with some brisket.

I’ll eat green eggs in a box,
If you serve them with some lox.
And those green eggs are worth a try
Scrambled up in matzah brie!

And in a boat upon the river,
I’ll eat green eggs with chopped liver!
So if you’re a Jewish Dr. Seuss fan,
But troubled by green eggs and ham,
Let your friends in on the scoop:
Green eggs taste best with chicken soup!