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The talmudic dilemma

Abe went to see his rabbi. “Rabbi,” he said, “I would be grateful if you could explain the Talmud to me.”

“Very well, Abe,” said the rabbi, “First, I need to ask you a simple question.

“If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

“The dirty one,” replied Abe.

“No, Abe. They look at each other. The dirty man thinks he is clean but the clean man thinks he is dirty and washes.

“Now another question,” said the rabbi.

“If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

Abe smiled, “You just told me that one, Rabbi. The clean man, because he thinks he is dirty.”

“No, Abe,” said the rabbi. “They each look at themselves. The clean man knows he doesn’t have to wash and the dirty man washes himself.

“Now one final question,” said the rabbi.

“If two men climb inside a chimney and one comes out dirty and the other one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

This time Abe frowned. “I don’t know, Rabbi. It could be either one, depending on your point of view.”

“No, Abe,” said the rabbi. “If two men climb inside a chimney, how could either of them come out clean? They are obviously both dirty and so they both wash.”

Abe was now thoroughly confused, “Rabbi, you asked me exactly the same question three times, yet you gave me three different answers. Are you playing games with me?”

“No, Abe, I would never joke with you. This is Talmud.”

© david minkoff