One last request
A rabbi, a cantor, and a synagogue president were driving to a seminar when they were kidnapped. The hijackers asked the three of them to hand over all of their money and jewelry. When they replied that they hadn’t any, the hijackers told them that immediately after their last wishes were fulfilled, they would be killed.
“My last wish,” began the Rabbi, is to give a fascinating, complicated, long sermon that I have always wanted to but never been allowed to give.”
“We will grant your wish,” the hijackers replied.
“My last wish,” said the cantor, “is to sing a beautiful, Yemenite style song, one of my own compositions lasting two hours. I have never been allowed to sing it.”
“We’ll let you sing it,” replied the hijackers.
“And what is your last wish?” one of the hijackers asked the shul president.
“Please, please shoot me now.”
© david minkoff
First to go
It’s winter in Russia and the people are hungry. The town council announces that meat will be arriving, so everyone gets lines up to wait for the meat.
After an hour of waiting in the snow and freezing cold, the town council announces that there will be less meat coming then expected, all Jews go home. All the Jews leave the line.
Another hour goes by and, again, the town council announces there will be less than expected food arriving, all non-communists go home. All non-communists leave the line.
Another hour, and the town council announces there will be no food arriving, everybody go home.
As one man trudges home through the snow, he turns to his friend and says, “You see, the Jews always get to go home first!”