Some Jewish classics
“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up — they have no holidays.” (Henny Youngman)
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me — he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn’t met me yet.” (Rodney Dangerfield)
“Marriage is a wonderful institution — but who wants to live in an institution?” (Groucho Marx)
“This is the sixth book I’ve written — not bad for a guy who’s read only two.” (George Burns)
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger — comedy is if you fall into a sewer and die.” (Mel Brooks)
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die — I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” (Woody Allen)
“The pen is mightier than the sword — and considerably easier to write with.” (Marty Feldman)