The good news

A Jewish man was riding on the subway reading an Iranian newspaper.

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon.

Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.

“Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Iranian newspaper?”

Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty.

“So I switched to the Iranian newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

Tough times

Although it’s hard times in the furniture world, Nathan takes his 5-year-old son Sam to his store. When they arrive, and before going in, Nathan looks up at the sign above his store, which says Nathan’s World of Furniture, and sighs loudly. Then he looks at the big notice in the store’s front window, written in red:

Nathan’s big sell-out

End-of-my-business sale

Going broke and my bank says it won’t lend me any more

Then Nathan lovingly pats Sam on the head, turns to face his store, spreads his arms out wide and says, “One day, Sam, all this will be yours.”