To understand how influential Roy Calder was in the sphere of Humanistic Judaism in the Bay Area, the tribute page on Kol Hadash’s Web site is an appropriate place to begin.
“Roy Calder — a man bigger than life,” writes member Marcia Grossman. “He was six months older than my mother, but always seemed much younger, more vital, more alive.”
Bert Steinberg notes, “I started to become a Jew with a definition, a Jew with a purpose, a Jew with understanding, a Jew with religion, I was a secular humanistic Jew. And none of that would have been possible if it weren’t for Roy Calder.”
Calder, who in 1987 founded the Northern California chapter of the Society for Humanistic Judaism, later known as Kol Hadash, died March 3 at Smith Ranch Care Center in San Rafael. He was 87.
His son, Michael Calder, and daughter, Jacky Poulsen, described their father as “very outgoing and very honest,” with “an amazing ability to maintain friendships.”
Friends always surrounded Calder, whether he was attending Shabbat services at Kol Hadash in Albany, or fundraising for the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, a cause tied to his love for Israel.
A longtime member and past president of Congregation Rodef Sholom in San Rafael, Calder achieved a middle ground between being Jewish without being religious.
“He was proud to be Jewish,” Michael Calder said. “And he certainly didn’t hide it. He was very supportive of the temple. If someone asked if he was religious, he’d say ‘no, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support a synagogue.’ ”
Born in Dresden, Germany in 1921, Calder escaped Nazi persecution when he was sent to boarding school in Switzerland at age 15. He made his way to England and joined a Jewish refugee unit of the British army stationed in Calder, Scotland.
In anticipation of fighting Germans, Calder changed his name from the one given to him at birth — Hans Cohn — to C. Roy Calder, a name that better concealed his Jewish identity. As a soldier, he was assigned to the Royal West African Frontier Force in Nigeria, training African troops for duty in India and Burma.
Back in England, Calder met his future wife, Alice, who had left her family in Hamburg to take a position as a housemaid. Both had lost nearly all of their relatives in the Holocaust, an experience Calder would later recount for public high schools and other non-Jewish organizations
as a member of the speakers panel for the Holocaust Center of Northern California.
“He was passionate about speaking to history classes,” Michael Calder said. “Telling his story was very meaningful for him.”
The pair married in London in September 1942. Calder left the army in 1946, and held several odd jobs until coming to San Francisco with his wife and two small children in 1953. Three years later, the family settled in Marin.
Calder spent 15 years in the trust department of the Bank of California and retired early when Hebrew University of Jerusalem offered him the position of professional fundraiser in the late ’70s.
While at his fundraising post, Calder took several trips to Israel; on one of those excursions, he discovered distant relatives who had survived the Holocaust.
Other vacations included cruises to the Caribbean, Alaska and Tahiti, and excursions to Europe.
An avid tennis player, Calder was a staple at his local public courts. He loved to play bridge and poker, and was constantly reading about a topic that helped define him — nontheism.
“Dad had a very strong secular belief and a very strong Jewish identity,” Poulsen said. “He did so much for so many Jewish causes.”
A celebration of life was held for Calder on March 6 at Congregation Rodef Sholom. Calder is survived by his children, Michael Calder and Jacky Poulsen, three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.