The first convert?

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity.”

“Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?”

He took his problem to his best friend. “Ike,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Ike. “I too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.“ So they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi. “I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a Christian. What is happening to our young people?”

And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons. As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the heavens:

“Funny you should ask,” said the voice. “I, too, sent my son to Israel … ”

All in how you say it

A motorcyclist was riding by the zoo, when he saw a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside to devour her, right before the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumped off his bike, ran to the cage and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from pain, the lion jumped back and let go of the girl. The biker then took her to her terrified parents, who thanked him endlessly.

A reporter saw the whole scene, and addressing the biker, said, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I saw a man do in my whole life.”

“Really, it was nothing,” said the biker, “The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”

“I noticed a patch on your jacket,” said the journalist.

“Yeah, I ride with an Israeli motorcycle club,” the biker replied.

“Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s papers will have this on the front page.”

The following morning the biker bought the paper to see if it indeed brought out the news of his actions. On the front page was the headline: “Israeli gang member assaults African immigrant and steals his lunch.”

The Bible for kids

Rebecca is reading a Bible story to her young daughter Emma. “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.”

Emma asks, “What happened to the flea, Mommy?”