The Jewish Twitter
From Mashable.com:
Are your friends fed up with all your kvetching on Twitter? Don’t worry — just in time for the High Holy Days comes a Twitter alternative targeting the one person guaranteed to care: your Jewish mother.
Even simpler than its namesake Twitter, Twitteleh requires that you answer three basic questions: “Where are you?” “What have you eaten?” and “Are you wearing a sweater?”
Perfect game
The rabbi was fed up with his congregation. So he decided to skip the services on Yom Kippur and instead go play golf.
Moses was looking down from heaven and saw the rabbi on the golf course.
He naturally reported it to God. Moses suggested God punish the rabbi severely.
As he watched, Moses saw the rabbi playing the best game he had ever played! The rabbi got a hole-in-one on the toughest hole on the course.
Moses turned to God and asked, “I thought you were going to punish him. Do you call this punishment?!”
God replied, “Who can he tell?”
Rewind
A synagogue member called his rabbi and said, “I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but tonight the Giants are playing a critical game. Rabbi, I’m a lifelong Giants fan. I’ve got to watch the game on TV.”
The rabbi responds, “Well, that’s what DVR is for.”
The man is surprised: “You mean I can tape Kol Nidre?”