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 NOTE: See below for link to another view on this topic.

Debbie Friedman’s sister raises a very pertinent question regarding the responsibility of the media, especially the Jewish media.

In her op-ed, she refers to a story on page 14 of our Jan. 14 issue. The story reported on a number of Internet blogs that were questioning whether Debbie should have used her celebrity status and fully come out of the closet as a lesbian.

The article was written by JTA, the wire service that serves Jewish newspapers in the diaspora much in the same way the Associated Press serves secular publications. The same story we printed appeared in numerous other Jewish papers that subscribe to JTA, as well as appearing on jta.org that same week.

When the JTA story appeared in my e-mail, I hesitated. First I questioned whether we would be outing Debbie against her wishes.

I also questioned whether this was yellow journalism and/or lashon hara (“evil tongue”). Would we be blowing this out of proportion and saying things about Debbie that could be considered evil?

These were not easy questions to answer.

My final decision was that this was, in fact, a news story. JTA was reporting what was already being discussed online. The story did not originate with JTA nor with j. It was written because of the debate online.

So in my mind, we weren’t making this issue public for the first time. We were reporting what was happening online. Is this any different than CNN or the New York Times running a story about discussions on Twitter? The Jan. 11 New York Times obituary, in fact, also noted that Debbie was gay.

Another reason for running the story was that we weren’t outing Debbie.

Debbie never hid the fact that she was a lesbian, though she did not publicize it. Neither did she see herself as a celebrity. Her connection to the community was as a composer and singer of religious music, such as her famous “Mi Shebeirach,” the prayer for healing sung in synagogues throughout the country.

I also questioned whether the JTA story was doing anything to harm her reputation or saying anything evil about her. I didn’t think it was.

I justified that this story would be of high interest in our community where there are many Jewish LGBT individuals. Also, the debate on whether celebrities would do more good by making their sexual orientations public has been going on for years.

Usually the debate occurs after a person’s death, e.g. Liberace, Rock Hudson and many others. Some in the LGBT community believe that a public outing gives young gay people a role model and helps them feel proud of who they are.

Once the story appeared in our newspaper and on our website, I heard nothing for a few days. I expected numerous letters to the editor. Eventually two letters arrived — one of them written by Debbie’s sister, who soon called me.

Cheryl Friedman is a very intelligent, very Jewish and very sweet person. She talked about her loss; she was in deep pain over it. Not long into the conversation, we were talking like old friends. That’s the kind of person she is.

And she also did a good job of igniting my Jewish guilt for running the story.

Mostly I feel guilty that the story had such a devastating affect on her and her family, and I deeply apologize for that. Journalists tend to think of the broader community’s interest in a story rather than the hurt it might do to a specific individual or family.

Should we have ignored the story even though it first appeared on the Internet? I’m still not sure.

What do you think?

Marc Klein is the editor and publisher of j. the Jewish news weekly of Northern California.

ANOTHER VIEW:

Cheryl Friedman (Debbie’s sister): No one is “entitled” to Debbie’s personal life.