Planning a Jewish wedding can be a stressful time for couples. Not only do they have to deal with relatives and caterers, they also have to decide exactly what type of Jewish wedding to hold. In addition, there are issues of Jewish law that may have to be addressed.
The following books can help make the process easier.
“The Jewish Way of Love and Marriage” by Maurice Lamm
Orthodox and traditional Jews will want to read Lamm’s 1980 tome. While not a wedding planner (you’ll find no information about catering here), this books answers questions about marriage from a halachic (legalistic) point-of-view. It also explains each step in the traditional marriage ceremony.
“The New Jewish Wedding” by Anita Diamant
Liberal Jews will want to turn to this 272-page book, revised in 2001 after first coming out in 1985. Diamant discusses the legalistic aspects of marriage from a liberal perspective. Her step-by-step approach to planning the wedding ceremony offers options not found in more traditional ceremonies. She also includes information about same-sex ceremonies and about how to include non-Jewish family members in the ceremony.
“The Creative Jewish Wedding Book” by Gabrielle Kaplan-Meyer
Kaplan-Meyer offers suggestions on how a couple can use their wedding preparations to explore their relationship to Judaism. Her 254-page book from 2004 is for those looking to individualize their ceremony and includes information about everything from Jewish music to how to design your own ritual objects for the ceremony.
“Make Your Own Jewish Wedding: How to Create a Ritual That Expresses Your True Selves” by Ana Schwartzman and Zoe Francesca
The authors of this 2004 book offer practical and spiritual advice about all aspects of a wedding, from the engagement to the honeymoon. The 208-page book also offers concrete suggestions for dealing with potential problems with family and friends.
“Jewish Weddings: A Beautiful Guide to Creating the Wedding of Your Dreams” by Rita Milos Brownstein
This 176-page book from 2002 seeks to help couples balance the religious and aesthetic aspects of their wedding ceremony. The book, which has more than 200 photographs, includes menu suggestions for the engagement party, the bridal shower, the wedding and the week of festive meals after the
wedding. It also gives examples from seven real-life Jewish weddings.
“The Everything Jewish Wedding Book” by Rabbi Hyim Shafner Subtitled “Mazel tov! From the chuppah to the hora, all you need for your big day,” this 1997 book guides readers through the Jewish concept of a marriage, how to work with a rabbi or ritual director, and information about the ceremony. The 288-page book offers information for Jewish or interfaith couples.
“The Committed Marriage: A Guide to Finding a Soul Mate and Building a Relationship through Timeless Biblical Wisdom” by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
Looking to get a marriage off to a good start? In this 2003 book, Jungreis shows how to build a good relationship, starting with finding one’s soul mate to dealing with the problems that can arise during a marriage. Her 288-page book is filled with true stories of people she has helped to create successful marriages.
Rabbi Rachel Esserman is the executive editor of The Reporter, a group of six Jewish community newspapers in New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.