Modern bride
Ella has recently announced her engagement to Martin and starts to receive mazel tov cards from family and friends. On this particular morning, not only is there the usual bundle of cards on the floor by the front door, but there is also a large package. Ella opens the package, stares at its contents and reads the enclosed card. It’s from her elderly grandma. So Ella rings her.
“Hello bubbe, it’s Ella,” she says.
“Why hello Ella,” says her bubbe. “Did you get my parcel?”
“Yes I did, bubbe,” replies Ella. “Thank you so much for your lovely engagement present.”
“I’m so glad you like it,” says her bubbe.
“And why shouldn’t I like it?” says Emma. “Any future new bride would love to receive such an attractive wooden sewing box full of reels of cotton of all colors, pairs of scissors, needles and pins of all sizes, thimbles, and a tape measure. But bubbe, where are the instructions?”
© david minkoff
A bed by the window
On a recent visit to a mental asylum, Sol Finkel asks the director, “So, how can you know when a person needs to be institutionalized?”
He replies, “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and we offer them either a teaspoon, a coffee cup or a bucket and ask them to empty the tub.”
So Sol says, “I see … a normal person would choose the bucket because it is bigger.”
And the director replies: “No. A normal person would pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?”