Errors and traditions
Funny but true items found in synagogue newsletters and heard in congregational announcements:
Don’t let worry kill you. Let your synagogue help. Join us for our oneg after services. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
We are pleased to announce the birth of David Weiss, the sin of Rabbi and Mrs. Abe Weiss.
On Thursday, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the rabbi in his private study.
The ladies of Hadassah have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the social hall on Tuesdays.
A bean supper will be held Wednesday evening in the community center. Music will follow.
Rabbi is on vacation. Massages can be given to his secretary.
Mr. Goldblum will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Men’s Club is warmly invited to the oneg hosted by the Sisterhood. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Rob, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
The associate rabbi unveiled the synagogue’s new fundraising campaign slogan this week: “I Upped My Pledge. Up Yours.”
That’s news to her
Cohen approaches the secretary of the burial society. “I’m here because my wife is dead and I have to arrange the funeral.”
“Your wife is dead?” asks the secretary. “How can that be? We buried your wife two years ago!”
“No, no,” says Cohen. “That was my first wife. This was my second.”
“Really?” says the secretary. “I didn’t know you got married again. Mazel tov!”n
From “The Big Book of Jewish Humor”