That’s entertainment?
Freda and Bernard have just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and are going through a very difficult time money-wise. No matter what they try, they still end up each month in debt.
Still, Bernard is an optimist and he starts to use a new catch-phrase he’s just come up with. He says to Freda, “Don’t worry about our poor financial situation, because as long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.”
Bernard’s sentiment works fine for a few weeks but then, all of a sudden, their bedroom TV goes on the fritz, so Bernard tries to fix it. After a few hours of poking around inside the back of the TV, Bernard says to Freda, “Sorry, I can’t fix it. And we don’t have enough money to call in a technician or buy another TV.”
“That’s just marvelous isn’t it!” shouts Freda. “Now there’s absolutely no entertainment remaining in our bedroom.”
© david minkoff
Cutting humor
A rabbi gets up to speak in shul one morning with a big bandage on his chin. “I’m sorry about this Band-Aid,” the rabbi begins. “I cut myself shaving this morning when I was thinking about my sermon.”
Voice from the congregation: “Next time, why not think about your chin and cut the sermon?”
Jewish one-liners
A perfect example of minority rule in a Jewish home is a baby.
Jewish success is getting what you like, but Jewish happiness is liking what you get.
A Jewish husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
The only Jewish child who doesn’t grow up and move away is your husband.
© david minkoff
What about the shmears?
Freda and Moshe Levy win the lottery and immediately set out to begin living a life of luxury. Among other things, they hire a butler. One day, they instruct him to set a table for four as they have invited their friends, the Cohens, over for brunch.
When they later come down to the dining room, they find the table set for six. They question the butler who explains, “The Cohens called and said they were bringing the Bagels.” n
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