Tazria-Metzora
Leviticus 12:1-15:33
Kings II 7:3-20
Three baseball umpires once met up at a convention. A young umpire already gaining an excellent reputation claimed confidently to the others, “I call them as I see them.” The second, more seasoned umpire responded: “I call them as they are!” The senior umpire among them looked at the other two and explained, “No, gentlemen. They aren’t anything until I call them.”
Our double Torah portion for this week spends much of its time discussing tzara’at, a skin condition that afflicts a person’s body after a transgression against one of several interpersonal commandments. The best-known cause of this condition is the one first listed by the Talmud (Tractate Erchin 16A), namely lashon hara, or gossip. One who speaks ill of others comes to suffer this particular malady. Once the mark is identified by the Kohen priest, that person must sit outside the camp and consider how the offending speech harmed others and made coexistence with others impossible.
Generally speaking (and with all due respect to umpires), reality is what it is regardless of whether we recognize it or stick our heads in the sand. The proverbial tree that falls in the forest lies on the ground whether we are aware of it falling or not. And yet with tzara’at, our recognition of the facts makes all the difference. Throughout this portion, the Torah repeatedly emphasizes it is only when the Kohen declares this mark to be tzara’at that it takes on that status (13:3, 13:6, 13:15 and so on, highlighted by the legal Midrash Torat Kohanim). Otherwise, it is just a spot of no consequence on the skin. It isn’t anything until the Kohen “calls it.”
This makes things all the more interesting, because not all times are considered appropriate for a Kohen to show up and make declarations that could send a person outside the communal camp. The Talmud says that during the celebratory week after one’s wedding, as well as during the middle days of a holiday such as Passover or Sukkot, the Kohen doesn’t make his house call, so this person can be allowed the week to rejoice. Why? If this person has a tzara’at mark, isn’t it the Kohen’s duty to get the process started? What good are we doing by refusing to recognize the problem for another week?
There is an interesting detail in the laws of tzara’at that may offer insight here. The Torat Kohanim (13:3) says that to render a proper ruling, the priest has to see not only the blemish but also the healthy skin around it. It isn’t sufficient to see only the problem flesh; one must also see the bigger picture of that which is still well. Effectively, the Kohen has to be intelligent and answer not one but actually two questions: Is this indeed a tzara’at mark? And is this an appropriate time to focus on the problem?
Professor John Gottman, whose research on the dynamics of couples has met with much acclaim, offers the “magic ratio” of relationships. He found that all couples fight, but healthy relationships are marked by a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions and comments to negative or critical interactions. If every criticism is balanced by at least five positive comments, then the relationship will tend to be stable and healthy, and the criticism may even yield constructive results. But if the ratio is less than 5-to-1, the relationship is in trouble.
Gottman’s insight is mirrored by the implications of our text. Just because a problem exists does not mean that every moment is the right time to mention it. It needs to be dealt with and not swept under the proverbial rug, but there is also a time for rejoicing together that needs to be kept joyous and free of critique. The groom and bride are allowed their week after the wedding, and holiday periods are meant for unhindered celebration.
I think of this as well as we come to celebrate the State of Israel this Monday night and Tuesday on Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel’s Independence Day. Israel faces all kinds of problems, including the threats to its existence and its own significant imperfections. And so is it only natural that many have ideas of what it could be doing better. But our Torah portion teaches us that there is a time to put the critiques on hold so we can celebrate all that is wonderful. The laws of tzara’at challenge us to see the flaws in the context of what is healthy and well. And finally, they remind us that in a healthy relationship, critique is mixed in with a great deal more positive comment and support.
Rabbi Judah Dardik is the spiritual leader at Orthodox Beth Jacob in Oakland. He can be reached at [email protected].