Hanukkah songs that never caught on
“Oy to the World”
“Shlepping through a Winter Wonderland”
“Bubbe Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
“The Twelve Nights of Hanukkah”
“The Little Kosher Boy (pa rum pum pum pum)”
“Feliz Hanukkah”
“Frosty the Shmendrick”
“I’m Dreaming of a White Latke”
“God Rest Ye Merry Kibitzers”
“Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzah”
“Yenta Claus is Coming to Town”
“Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky”
Helpful handyman
A man buys a fabulous home in Beverly Hills.
He brings in a local workman to decorate the place. When the job is finished, the homeowner is delighted but realizes that he’s forgotten to put mezuzahs on the doors. He goes out and buys 50 mezuzahs and instructs the decorator how to place them on the right-hand side of each door except bathrooms and kitchens.
He’s really worried that the decorator will chip the paint work or won’t put them up correctly. However, when he comes back a few hours later, he sees that the job has been carried out to his entire satisfaction.
He’s so pleased that he gives the decorator a bonus.
As the decorator is walking out the door, he says, “Glad you’re happy with the job.
“By the way, I took out all the warranties from the little boxes and left them on the table for you.”
Latkes for blintzes
Irving goes into a restaurant and orders potato latkes. When they come, he complains that they do not look good and he changes his order to blintzes. After he eats the blintzes, he stands up and starts to leave the restaurant.
“Wait a second,” the manager shouts after him. “You have not paid for your blintzes.”
“What are you talking about?” Irving says. “Those blintzes were an even exchange. I gave you the latkes for them.”
“Yes,” says the manager, “but you did not pay for the latkes either.”
“Why should I pay for them?” asks Irving. “I didn’t eat them.”