In less than four months my two mini-humans, Aviv, 4, and Maya, 2, have gone through some incredible changes. Earlier this year they thought they lived with Elsa and Anna in Arendelle (the fictional characters and place from the movie “Frozen”), everything covered in white as far as the eye could see. In just one plane ride, the snow melted and everything became hotter — the language, the people, the weather — and with that heat came inevitable changes.
1. No English: My kids have basically given up speaking English. I wish I could say that the disappearance of my mother tongue was surprising, but it is not. All of their friends speak Hebrew, their teachers speak Hebrew, and our daily trips to the park and pool are all in Hebrew.
Despite my insistence on speaking English, I am answered not just by Hebrew speakers but by Israelis. “Lo ba li,” “I don’t want to,” they both tell me on a regular basis. These three small syllables are more like“ I don’t feel like it” than an outright refusal, a slang way of saying “no.” Not only is it striking that they have given up on the language that has been in their ears and on their tongues since they were born, but they have instinctually picked up the attitude that is intrinsic to Hebrew.
While I speak Hebrew, I do so as an American, translating polite sentences and adding extra words. My kids drop the excess, cut right to the point and give me no option other than to tread water as best I can.
2. More time outdoors: If Arendelle is an eternal winter, we have entered opposite land where summer never stops. Every day is a decision between the park and the pool, between the beach and the kibbutz. In Boston, we also went to the park — between May and October. By early November it was getting too chilly and dark to really be outside.
The other side effect of more time outdoors is less time with toys. Stuck inside during a Boston winter, Legos, puzzles and magnet tiles took a full three to four hours of our day. Here, toys see less than an hour of play depending on when the kids wake up. The kids definitely learn about new toys and trends from friends, but there seems to be less pressure to fill up our toy boxes.
3. No television: Since it is rare to find a television at the park or the pool and most of their time is spent between one of those two places, my kids have almost zero exposure to television. On one side, I am inclined to find and stream “Sesame Street” nonstop to try and staunch the inevitable loss of English, but I also have no reason to introduce television when life is happening outside.
4. More sweets… and more vegetables: So far I have made it sound pretty good, right? In truth, I don’t think my kids would complain. In addition to running free in the warm summer air spouting fluent Hebrew, they also have a newfound addiction to sweets. My husband would blame this on my father’s early offerings of M&Ms anytime we visited Zayde, but I am going to place blame on the insistent giving, not even offering, of popsicles, cakes and cookies everywhere from the daycare to the park to the savtas (grandmas). While vegetables are also always on offer — think cucumber, tomato and red pepper — I now wake up to a 2-year-old who asks for chocolate and a 4-year-old who almost never leaves the daycare without a popsicle in his hand.
And just a few minutes later, some aba (dad) at the park shows up with either a bag of candy or more popsicles, and the kids flock to him.
5. More social: Not only does the park allow for a natural meeting place for the kids, but the kids drive a lot of their social interaction. Aviv tells me that he wants to bring someone home for a play date or that he and his new best friend have decided to go the pool together. Rather than the parents reaching out to each other in advance, I often get a text from a mom near the end of the day asking if she can take Aviv to the park, or if I can take her child from the daycare until she makes it back through the Tel Aviv traffic.
As with most things here, play dates and social time are very fluid and not at all structured. It means that kids are always around and that my children rely less on toys, television and my furniture for amusement. They run and play with their friends, splash in the pool, and when it is too hot to be outside, they come over and run through our house, re-discovering what toys are here.
When people ask me how we are doing here, I often answer that my kids are doing great. International moves are hard, but my kids seem happy and free and full of energy. My husband always told me that Israel is an amazing place for kids, and so far, I think he is right.
Abbey Onn is a 35-year-old mother of two who has lived all over the world and was recently transplanted to Tel Aviv from Boston.