Vayeshev
Genesis 37:1-40:23
Amos 2:6-3:8
A dysfunctional dynamic of sibling rivalry shows up at the very beginning of humanity: Cain murders Abel. Ishmael mocks Isaac. Isaac favors Esau while Rebecca favors Jacob. Jacob steals his brother’s blessings and birthright. This dynamic remains unresolved in the next generation as well, as Jacob favors Joseph over his brothers, inspiring the young lad’s dreams of superiority, which ultimately result in the sale of Joseph into servitude by his jealous brothers.
This final dramatic saga of sibling rivalry not only concludes the Book of Genesis but also marks the beginning of sibling reconciliation. After all, the Exodus from Egypt wouldn’t have taken place without the cooperation of three siblings, the youngest of whom, Moses, becomes the leader of all Israel while receiving constant support from his older siblings, Miriam and Aaron.
In other words, while sibling rivalry causes Israel’s descent into Egypt, it is sibling reconciliation, through Joseph and his brothers and then Moses and his siblings, that ultimately allows for redemption to begin as well.
What propels this reconciliation?
The end of the Book of Genesis powerfully describes Joseph’s encounter with his brothers after years of being apart. Now the viceroy of Egypt, Joseph finally reveals his true identity to them: “I am Joseph your brother! You sold me to Egypt. Now don’t worry or feel guilty because you sold me. Look! God has sent me ahead of you to save lives” (Genesis 45:4-5).
This is a defining moment. Can you even imagine the inner strength and religious conviction that enabled and inspired Joseph to utter those words? His brothers had betrayed him. They threw him into the pit and sold him to Egypt. And yet despite all that, Joseph forgives them. At that very moment, Joseph chooses to see life through a divine perspective, overcoming his own narrow one.
Reconciliation does not end there. While forgiving others is truly a challenge, our tradition shows that accepting forgiveness may be just as difficult.
Only a few chapters later we learn of another encounter between the brothers. Shortly after their father’s death, the two become anxious and fearful. They turn to each other, saying, “What if Joseph is still holding a grudge against us? … He is likely to pay us back for all the evil we did him” (Genesis 50:15). Here once again Joseph comforts them, “Don’t be afraid…. Shall I take God’s place … I will fully provide for you and your children” (Genesis 50:19).
After so many years of living side by side together peacefully in Egypt, Joseph’s brothers still won’t trust him and still can’t accept or believe that their brother has forgiven them. Allowing other people to forgive our sins may be deeply challenging. Sometimes we just don’t believe that we are worthy of forgiveness. Still, there is one more challenge, perhaps more subtle than the first two. At times it is difficult to believe that God truly forgives.
The Talmud teaches, “Transgressions that a person confesses to on this Yom Kippur should not be confessed again next Yom Kippur” (BT Tractate Yumah 86b). If a sin was not repeated and the person already repented for it in the past, then that person is absolutely forbidden to continue repenting for it in the future. Forgiveness is absolute. We are not allowed to repent for things for which we were already forgiven.
The 13th-century Rabeinu Yonah explains this rule in a most insightful way: “Our rabbis warn against confessing repeatedly for sins of the past for by doing so a person exhibits a lack of faith in God’s forgivingness.” According to Rabeinu Yonah, by repeatedly confessing to sins of the past, we demonstrate a lack of trust in the power of God’s forgiveness. We only apologize again and again because we don’t really believe that we were truly forgiven.
Forgiving others, forgiving ourselves and believing that God forgives us as well all form the basis for the redemption described in the Book of Exodus, marking the end of a tragic dynamic that began with Abel and Cain. Though confrontations are sometimes necessary, demanding clear vision and a firm stance, during these very dark and chaotic days in our own world, I nonetheless pray that this spirit of reconciliation will once again find a dwelling place in the heart of humanity.
Rabbi Yonatan Cohen is the spiritual leader of Congregation Beth Israel in Berkeley. He can be reached at [email protected].