Many Jewish parents sing the bedtime Shema to their children as part of their nightly routine. Others favor Haskiveinu, which asks God to watch over us as we sleep. But for one Palo Alto family, the bedtime song of choice is a bit unconventional.
Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and CEO of Meta, revealed in a recent interview with Bloomberg that he sings Debbie Friedman’s “Mi Shebeirach” — which is based on a prayer for those who are ill or in need of healing — to his three daughters every night.
“It’s basically a prayer for health and courage, and it says, ‘May we have the courage to make our lives a blessing,’” Zuckerberg told interviewer Emily Chang, quoting Friedman’s English lyrics. “I’ve sung it to them basically every night of their lives since they were born.”
Chang had asked Zuckerberg about the gold necklace he was wearing during the interview, which was filmed at Meta’s Menlo Park headquarters. He explained that it was a custom pendant with the words of the song engraved on it. The interview, which focused on Meta’s work in the field of artificial intelligence, has been viewed 946,000 times since it was posted on July 23.
“Mi Shebeirach” is Friedman’s most popular composition, sung in congregations around the world, especially Reform ones. Zuckerberg, 40, may have learned it at his childhood synagogue, Temple Beth Abraham in Tarrytown, New York, which is affiliated with both the Conservative and Reform movements.
The Mi Shebeirach prayer is typically recited in synagogue during the Torah service. The prayer asks God to send a refuah sh’leima, or complete healing, to those who are sick or recovering from an accident or medical procedure.
Saul Kaye, a Bay Area freelance prayer leader and musician, told J. on Friday that he has never heard of parents singing Mi Shebeirach to their children as a lullaby.
“He’s a pioneer in tech, maybe he’s a pioneer in this, too,” Kaye said of Zuckerberg, who launched Facebook in 2004 from his Harvard dorm room.
Kaye, who hosts the “Holy Sparks” podcast, added that he finds it “really sweet” that the tech executive has created his own tradition within his family.
“There’s something to be said for making Judaism yours,” Kaye said. “If there’s a prayer that you feel compelled to say, you’re not going to get a demerit for saying it at quote-unquote the wrong time.”
(Asked about his own bedtime routine with his two children, Elijah and Bayla, Kaye said they always sing the Shema — and sometimes the Ve’ahavta, “depending on how tired everyone is.”)
Friedman wrote her “Mi Shebeirach” in 1987 for the Simchat Chochma (celebration of wisdom) of a friend, Marcia Cohn Spiegel, who was turning 60. Rabbi Drorah Setel, who co-wrote the lyrics, explained in a 2011 Forward essay that she and Friedman wanted to be sensitive to queer people during the height of the AIDS epidemic.
“How, we wondered, could we ask for refuah sh’leima, for a ‘complete healing,’ for people who had what was at the time a terminal illness?” she wrote. “We thought it would be more appropriate to focus on the possibility of spiritual healing, an experience of wholeness and blessing even in the face of death. We kept the rabbinic phrase refuah sh’leima but redefined it as the ‘renewal,’ rather than the repair, of body and spirit.”
Over the years, Zuckerberg has posted numerous photos and messages on Facebook and Instagram that reflect his strong connection to his Jewish heritage. In December 2016, he shared a Christmas and Hanukkah greeting on Facebook and responded to a comment asking if he was an atheist. “No,” he wrote. “I was raised Jewish and then I went through a period where I questioned things, but now I believe religion is very important.”
Kaye said he once saw Zuckerberg at a bar mitzvah at Peninsula Temple Beth El in San Mateo, but it is not known if his family belongs to a local synagogue. His wife, philanthropist Priscilla Chan, is Chinese American and reportedly practices Buddhism. The couple has three daughters: Maxima, born in 2015; August, born in 2017; and Aurelia, born last year.
“I think he keeps a low profile, and understandably so, but he’s always welcome at any synagogue,” Kaye said.