In the depths of grief, sometimes you just need to scream.
On Sept. 3, mourners from across the South Bay Jewish community were invited to release their pain, together.
At Congregation Shir Hadash in Los Gatos, more than 150 people gathered for a vigil in memory of the six Israeli hostages who were executed by Hamas and whose bodies were recovered by the Israel Defense Forces just days earlier.
Among them was 23-year-old Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was born in the East Bay and spent his early childhood in Berkeley before his family made aliyah. Public events to mourn the hostages were quickly pulled together across the Bay Area, including at Congregation Beth Israel in Berkeley, where Goldberg-Polin and his family were once members.
Attendees at Shir Hadash were handed slips of blue and yellow paper and pens to write down the intense thoughts and feelings they’ve been holding inside — blue for “screams” and yellow for “prayers.” The event was called “A time to cry and a time to scream” and was broadcast live on Facebook, where dozens more watched.
Rabbi Josh Berkenwald of Congregation Sinai in San Jose read some of the collective screams and prayers out loud, in Hebrew and English, for about five minutes. The messages cried out for peace and for the return of all the remaining hostages alive. Of the 250 people taken by Hamas during the Oct. 7 massacre, 101 remain in captivity though about one-third of them are known to be dead.
Many at the Sept. 3 gathering wrote about the alienation they are feeling in the United States.
“The hate all over the U.S. at us, at Israel and Jews, when there should be compassion is incomprehensible,” one person wrote.
“How at this point can anyone support Hamas? I literally cannot understand some of my friends. I just want to scream,” another read.
Allen Leibovitch, a San Jose resident wearing a “Bring Them Home Now” T-shirt and a dog tag around his neck for the hostages, told J. after the vigil that he feels very mixed emotions. He still prays for peace, for the hostages to be free and for Palestinian civilians to be safe.
“And then there’s just anger,” he said. “[At] those horrible people that are doing this. Frustration at the current government of Israel. They’re not to blame, but they could be doing more. Our government could be doing more. Anger at the world for ignoring us. Anger at the world for making us the villains,” he said.
Others at the vigil wrote sharper words against Israel’s government.
“Netanyahu, you failed us, you should be ashamed of yourself,” one person wrote.
“Return all hostages now. Enough. End Bibi,” wrote another.
The vigil at Shir Hadash was co-sponsored by several other South Bay synagogues, including Congregation Sinai, Temple Emanu-El, Congregation Beth David and Congregation Emeth, and UnXeptable, a grassroots pro-democracy group formed by Israeli expats.
Galit Lipsitz Goldenthal, an Israeli native who volunteers with UnXeptable and serves on the board at Shir Hadash, discussed the political events that preceded the shooting deaths of the six hostages.
“We were so close to getting them back home alive. There were talks of a deal,” Lipsitz Goldenthal told the audience. “They were getting closer to the final details, on and off for months. And last week it seems that the administration was going to make the sides agree.”
“But in the Middle East,” she continued, “life is cheap these days.” And the Israeli government missed an opportunity by adding new conditions to a deal with Hamas, she said.
“We were so close to getting them back home alive.” Galit Lipsitz Goldenthal, Congregation Shir Hadash board member
Daniel Klein, CEO of Jewish Silicon Valley, summarized several recent conversations he’d had with members of the South Bay Jewish community, expressing both frustration at the Israeli government and an acknowledgment of the inhumanity of Hamas.
“They shared with me the mistake they made is the assumption that [Hamas] would act rational, that they would put life in front of death,” Klein told those gathered, noting that Hamas rejected at least seven previous cease-fire deals and was no longer at the negotiating table.
Added Klein, “There is a lot of debate as to what can be done more by the West, by Israel. And that is acceptable. … But there are some truths that are undeniable.”