Picture parents, bleary-eyed from another sleepless night, as they juggle high-pressure jobs, their children’s packed schedules and the growing needs of their own aging parents.
They’re navigating a world of constant digital connectivity, financial pressures and societal expectations, all while grappling with concerns about their family’s safety in an era of cyberbullying, antisemitism, and other forms of targeted hate. This is not just a hypothetical scenario. It’s the daily reality for millions of families, including those in the Bay Area.
As we rush to address the youth mental health crisis, are we overlooking a critical piece of the puzzle? What if supporting overwhelmed parents is an essential step in our efforts to help their children?
The mental health of our youth has rightfully captured national attention, with troubling statistics revealing a stark reality: The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 32 percent of teens are grappling with anxiety disorders, and 15 percent struggle with mood disorders. But beneath these numbers lies a hidden crisis that touches every family: parental stress.
U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy’s recent advisory on the mental-health and well-being of parents confirms what many of us have long suspected: The overwhelming majority of parents are experiencing severe and prolonged stress. Recent data shows that 41 percent of parents with children under 18 feel “so stressed they cannot function.” An additional 48 percent find parenting “completely overwhelming.”
As health care professionals deeply involved in supporting families, we’ve witnessed firsthand the increasing pressures on parents, especially in our Bay Area Jewish community. The cost of living, academic expectations and heightened concerns about antisemitism in the wake of Oct. 7, have created a perfect storm of stressors for parents and children alike.
It is crucial to understand how this stress affects family dynamics. Parents and their children “coregulate” together, creating a bidirectional relationship where stress and anxiety can be mutually reinforcing.
Think for a moment about how children take their cues about what is dangerous from their parents. Kids, for the most part, don’t play outside or walk to school alone because it makes mom and dad nervous (this, in spite of the fact that abductions and violent crime are way down). So your kid hears about how dangerous being alone is, internalizes that message and becomes anxious or even phobic about walking to school. Alternatively, a calm child can soothe their parent’s jangled nerves by showing good judgment and enthusiasm for solo ventures. A continuous cycle of stress transfer between parents and children underscores the critical need to address parental mental health as a key factor in promoting children’s well-being.
To address this challenge, the San Francisco-based Jewish Family and Children’s Services’ Center for Children and Youth (CCY) is leading the charge as the most comprehensive and innovative center for such services in Northern California. Through CCY, we are transforming the landscape of family support with our multi-pronged approach. CCY offers a dynamic range of services, including cutting-edge counseling, expert parent coaching, support groups, educational workshops and advocacy training.
Through direct services to families, we are empowering parents with state-of-the-art tools to nurture their children’s growth while safeguarding their own well-being. And JFCS’ holistic approach ensures that no family must face their challenges alone by providing an all-encompassing support system that’s setting a new standard for family services in our region.
We also recognize that more needs to be done, and that as a society, we need to change the culture and systems that contribute to parental stress. This is why the Center for Children and Youth is also advocating for critical policy changes to push for better mental health support in schools, address cyberbullying and expand Holocaust and genocide education to combat ignorance and hate. Our mission is to create a better society where parents feel supported, children’s mental health is prioritized and families can thrive despite external pressures.
As we work toward these changes, it’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The challenges we face as parents in today’s world are unprecedented, and it’s OK to admit we don’t have all the answers.
Our combined experience working with families has shown us that children are often more aware and resilient than we give them credit for. By empowering them and supporting ourselves, we can build stronger, healthier families and communities.
As we move forward, let’s commit to being advocates — for our children, for ourselves and for a society that prioritizes the well-being of families. Together, we can create a future where stress and anxiety don’t define the parenting experience, but where support, understanding and community do.