How do people who go by they/them pronouns in English refer to themselves in Hebrew? What do you call the Jewish rite of passage ceremony for a nonbinary tween? What plural words should we use for a group of people who each have a different gender?
I was faced with these wonderfully productive dilemmas when I studied Hebrew in college eight years ago. I had come out a year earlier as nonbinary, which means for me that my gender does not fit neatly into the boxes of man or woman. I asked Eyal Rivlin, my Hebrew professor at University of Colorado at Boulder, about the established conventions for nonbinary people. After he and I did research by asking friends, family and colleagues and examining literature, we realized there was no comprehensive system for speaking Hebrew without using the masculine or feminine.
We decided to experiment and created the Nonbinary Hebrew Project in 2018.
Hebrew is both ancient and modern. As a living language, it is constantly changing, evolving and growing to adapt to the needs of its speakers. It is used daily for conversation, prayer, ritual and study. As such, it is critical that everyone who needs or wants to use Hebrew can do so in a way that is affirming.
One of the aspects of Hebrew that distinguishes it from English is its use of what linguists call grammatical gender. English has some familiar uses of it, such as the personal pronouns she/her and he/him. But in many languages, including Hebrew, almost all parts of speech are gendered, including verbs, nouns and adjectives. This grammatical gender is often chosen based on the gender of the speaker or the subject of the sentence.
Some queer communities in Israel use “lashon me’orevet,” or “language that crosses over,” in which they intentionally challenge this convention by switching grammatical gender mid-sentence or in every other sentence for the same speaker or subject. This is affirming for many people — but I sought to create a third option for people like myself for whom the grammatical masculine or feminine did not entirely affirm my identity.
The system that Eyal and I created is intuitive to Hebrew speakers because it creates a third parallel system of grammatical gender for use alongside the masculine and feminine options.
In traditional Hebrew, for example, grammatically masculine words are usually considered the default, while grammatically feminine words often end with an additional “-et” or “-ah.” In our new, more expansive option, many singular nouns, verbs and adjectives end with “-eh” to distinguish them from the masculine or feminine.
In another example from traditional Hebrew, grammatically masculine plural words end in “-im,” with groups referred to with the pronouns “hem” or “atem,” while feminine plural words end in “-ot,” with groups referred to with “hen” or “aten.” In our new system, plural words can use the ending “-imot” or “-emen,” both of which combine existing plural endings and were already used by some people before our project.
Since the Nonbinary Hebrew Project’s creation, many people across the world have applied our system for their own uses, such as Yizkor (memorial) prayers, baby-naming ceremonies and wedding blessings. There are other innovations as well, such as using “bet mitzvot,” instead of a bar or bat mitzvah. I can now start the day with the prayer “Modet Ani” (rather than “modeh” or “modah”). And when I’m called to the Torah, I can receive a blessing that truly honors me.
Another application I have been excited to see is the use of our system to refer to the Divine without using the masculine or feminine.
There is a rich history in Hebrew texts of gender being used in playful ways, for both people and the Divine. Many names for the Divine, such as Rock or Fountain of Life, are already beyond traditional notions of binary gender.
The Nonbinary Hebrew Project opens up possibilities for radical joy, euphoria and recognition of the other as a sibling rather than a stranger. We connect with one another through shared language, and our project aims to provide another tool for weaving communities closer together.
If you’re interested in learning more, come to one of our workshops this Friday evening, June 6, at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav in San Francisco or stay tuned for our virtual workshops by checking the calendar at nonbinaryhebrew.com. You can find applied uses of the system on the website, as well as grammar charts, podcasts and news articles.
This Pride Month, and all year long, let’s find joy together by using language to uplift one another and honor each other’s light.