David Whitebook, 71, was “a nonobservant, secular Jew” when he attended a class presented by the new Chabad rabbi in his community of active adults 10 years ago.
The retired high school teacher and assistant principal said he was “skeptical of many things, but the classes were engaging and I liked the rabbi, so I continued to attend.” The rabbi encouraged him and the others to voice their opinions, and was “respectful of everyone’s views,” Whitebook said.
The rabbi, Eliezer Zaklikovsky, is young enough to be the grandchild of many of his congregants. The director with his wife, Chanie, of Chabad Jewish Center of Monroe, N.J., he is among a growing number of Chabad representatives serving an older demographic. Chabad has opened centers in active-adult communities across the country.
“Most conventional outreach is geared toward children, teenagers or young adults,” Zaklikovsky said. “In our situation, we feel we’re answering a real need that has gone unmet for too long.”
Working with active adults has taught him patience, and “the people here are very open to learn and to grow,” he said. “But you need to make a strong case and know that most changes will not take place overnight.
“When they learn about a new observance, they thoughtfully consider it with the wisdom they gained over the years. While it might be challenging to expect life changes in attitude and observance at that stage in life, and the commitment is more difficult, once they commit, you can rely on them. It’s for real.”
For example, Whitebook took it upon himself to add one mitzvah to his life every year. One year he committed to wearing tefillin every day. Another year he made the decision to attend synagogue every Shabbat. “I am not going to become a tzaddik overnight, but I am always progressing,” he said.
Tiby Lapkin, 74, said the Zaklikovskys have proven to be a transformative presence for many of the Jewish residents, who, unburdened by work or family, are exploring Judaism for the first time in their lives.
“Many of us grew up Jewish, but we never truly studied and learned the rich depth of the Torah,” said Lapkin, who moved to the age 55-plus community when she was in her late 50s. “Now I can say that I have experienced Judaism in a way that I never had before.”
Although her children do not have peers their own age in the community, Chanie Zaklikovsky is pleased that they “feel that they have many grandparents here as they look forward to the many birthday cards, the Hanukkah gifts and the attention showered on them by the locals.”
More important, she said, “Being in this community, my children have learned to become friends with people who could be their grandparents, and have learned compassion and respect for their elders. They also get early insight into life from people with this level of maturity and experience.”
With a growing family of six, the rabbi and his wife — who settled in Monroe in 2003 — had to learn to adjust to the patterns of the active adult demographic when they discovered that every fall, a substantial segment of their community heads south to warmer climates. “We hold a reunion every winter in a restaurant in South Florida,” the rabbi said.
It’s the reverse for Rabbi Yossi Hecht, director of Chabad of Marion County, Fla. — home of The Villages, a 55-plus community with approximately 2,000 Jewish active adults. His community grows in the fall and shrinks in the spring.
Hecht noted that there is a high level of volunteerism in his congregation. Through the Golden Connections program, Hecht matches active adult volunteers with elderly retirees. “They bring over a bowl of chicken soup, share a smile or take them to the doctor. The main thing is that they are there for them. They want to do good and reach out to others. We just connect them.”
In Ballantyne, N.C., Rabbi Yisroel Levin makes regular trips to the Sun Cities developments in Carolina Lakes, S.C., home to approximately 250 Jewish active adults, mostly transplants from the Northeast and the Midwest.
“Since many of them have no family of their own, we really become one large communal family,” he said.