Shaking their toy tambourines in the air, 300 women celebrated Miriam’s role in Jewish history, as well as their own, at a sold-out seder last week in Berkeley
“This is the beginning of a new tradition,” event co-chair Mary Anne Winig announced as she welcomed guests to the first East Bay Women’s Community Seder.
It was the largest women’s seder ever held in the East Bay. In the end, 150 potential participants had to be turned away.
Sponsored by more than 30 groups, the event had all the trappings of a standard seder: parsley, red wine and Hillel sandwiches.
But the seder plate also held an orange — in reference to the infamous line that women belong on the bimah like a certain citrus fruit belongs on a seder plate.
The Haggadah told of the Four Daughters, instead of the Four Sons.
And not a single Jewish mother had to cook or serve the meal.
“Why is this night different from all other nights?” Rabbi Judy Shanks asked rhetorically, eliciting laughter from the group.
The seder was originally expected to draw 125 to 200 women and take place at the Berkeley Hillel. Within days, the event sold out. So organizers moved it a half-block to the slightly larger International House auditorium.
Women’s reasons for attending varied.
Melody Howe Weintraub came with a friend “to celebrate freedom and to celebrate women’s freedom.” The seder wasn’t the largest Jewish women’s event she had attended, but it was the largest one focused on women’s spirituality.
“Usually, we’re raising money for something,” joked the 39-year-old Lafayette resident
Ruth Sweetow, a 51-year-old Oakland woman, liked the stark difference from her childhood seders, which she described as “usually male dominated.”
“My grandfather did it all in Hebrew when I was growing up,” she said.
Although most of the participants appeared to be in their 30s and up, there were exceptions.
Emily Barenberg, a 17-year-old Oakland resident, decided to come with her mom when she found out her friend Nancy Levine was coming with her mom.
“It was like, yeah, it would be fun,” Barenberg said.
On the other end of the spectrum was 85-year-old Marta Hankin of Oakland.
“I really like to attend new things, even if it’s not quite what I’m used to,” said Hankin, who attended one women’s seder in the past.
The single most defining element of the seder was “The Journey Continues,” a feminist Haggadah created by the New York Jewish women’s group Ma’ayan.
The text began by featuring a water-filled Miriam’s Cup, a modern tradition that honors Moses’ sister and sits alongside the wine-filled Elijah’s Cup.
The Haggadah’s blessings addressed God in feminine or gender-neutral language, such as using Ruach (Spirit) instead of Melech (King).
For the first cup of wine, the text read, “we honor righteous women of every generation who have struggled for freedom.”
By dipping parsley into salt water, the text stated, “we feel the sting of a society that refuses to celebrate the blossoming of women’s bodies.”
The Four Daughters included one “in search of her past,” one “who wants to erase her difference,” one who “does not know she has a place at the table,” and the one “who asks no questions.”
Among the few sections of the Haggadah left unchanged was the 10 plagues. No reference compared men to blood, frogs, lice or boils.
That absence wasn’t accidental, co-chair Lisa Cohen said. While the organizers wanted a pro-woman Haggadah, they “didn’t want one that was radical or angry…We didn’t want it to be political. We wanted to celebrate women.”
The seder wasn’t completely free of testosterone. Two men managed to make it in: George Emblom, choir director of Oakland’s Temple Sinai, who accompanied on the piano as Shanks of Lafayette’s Temple Isaiah and Sinai Cantor Ilene Keys led the ritual; and Ami Nahshon, executive vice president of the Jewish Federation of the Greater East Bay.
“The East Bay has become such a greenhouse for new forms of Jewish expression. I just had to experience this event,” Nahshon said. “I was lucky enough as head of the federation to be able to sneak in.”
Cohen was “glad he did,” pointing out that the invitations specifically stated that the event was “open to everyone.”
The idea for the women’s gathering came from Cohen, who moved here from the East Coast a year and a half ago.
She helped organize a women’s seder back East and suggested one to the federation.
When the federation offered staff time and other support, Cohen and Winig joined forces and decided to get as many organizations involved as possible. They both wanted a “community seder in the real sense of the word,” Cohen said.
One of the few areas of disagreement among the organizers was the date of the seder, Cohen said. In the end, they decided that the early timing would prevent them from bumping heads with long-established community seders.
The earlier date also would give women new knowledge and spirit to take back to their first- and second-night seders, Cohen said. Participants were encouraged to take home the haggadot, as well as their Miriam’s Cups and plastic tambourines decorated with ribbons.
After the ritual meal, the organizers were still reeling from its success — while noting that women’s seders across the country continue to grow in popularity and frequently sell out.
“I think it has an appeal because there is no forum for women to celebrate together,” Cohen said, adding that Passover’s overall popularity doesn’t hurt.
“It has a lot of appeal. It’s a freedom holiday.”