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To circumcise, or not to circumcise — that is the question.
For many Jews and Jewish families across the spectrum — straight, LGBTQ, interfaith, single, partnered — “the circumcision question” is a source of stress, anxiety, messy family dynamics and moral panic.
For me, this mosaic of contemporary Jewish reactions also seemed like perfect fodder for a comedy short.
That’s why I made “The Eighth Day,” a 10-minute film that will screen as part of the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival’s “Oys and Joys: Narrative Shorts” program on July 19 at the Vogue Theater.
“The Eighth Day” follows two gay Jewish husbands who are new fathers to a baby son. In front of their friends and family, who have gathered for the bris, they sheepishly reveal that their son will not be circumcised.
Chaos ensues.
The parents of both new dads try to convince their sons to consider the repercussions — for themselves, their baby son and Jewish peoplehood. It’s the kind of scenario where you’d want to cover your eyes and melt, but you can’t look away.
The grandparents emphatically rattle off the history of the bris, its basis in the Torah and the potential for foreskin-specific bullying at Jewish summer camp. The new fathers politely listen, but it’s anyone’s guess whether they’ll change their minds.
Luckily, they are saved by the bell for a special delivery at the door.
It is not the goal of this film to push families one way or the other. I’m neither a militant defender of circumcision nor an ‘intactivist.’
Though the film centers on a young gay couple just eight days into being (exhausted) dads, the point is not that a gay family would have different perspectives on circumcision. This family’s dynamic isn’t shaped by queerness as much as it is by a very real conflict over which parts of our tradition can change and which cannot.
In an attempt to find creative fulfillment during the professional lull of last year’s Hollywood strike, I spent some time investigating my Jewish identity and thinking about ritual practice.
As more of my friends got married and had kids, I started to pay attention to the Jewish rituals that these couples reimagined. There were some who went by the book and sought out the very best mohels — ideally ones who wouldn’t use the cringey shtick penis humor of yesteryear.
I also spoke with people who were exploring the world of circumcision alternatives. From the tone of my conversations with them, it was clear to me that they understood they were dipping their toes in forbidden waters. As a filmmaker, I wanted to join them on their journey into an area clearly marked: “Do Not Enter.”
I invited my friend Gene Goldstein-Plesser, a queer Jewish community organizer, to join me as a producer of the film to help arrange conversations with rabbis, educators, advocates and parents to ensure I was reflecting the community zeitgeist as accurately as possible.
It is not the goal of this film to push families one way or the other. I’m neither a militant defender of circumcision nor an “intactivist,” a term used by people advocating to preserve the foreskin. But I do hope that, by reflecting a diversity of perspectives in a friendly and open way, the film can make new parents’ journey around this issue more approachable and less scary.
You’re warmly invited to our screening at SFJFF. But if you can’t make it, we also are piloting an educational resource that pairs the film with a source sheet of Jewish wisdom from across the generations that explores brit milah, mixing Torah, rabbinic commentary, queer sources, historians and more. If you’re interested in exploring the issue with us, reach out to us at eighthdayfilm.com. We’d be happy to visit your community for a program. And eventually, the film will be available online.
I hope “The Eighth Day” helps those navigating this conversation to approach it with curiosity, thoughtful questions, vulnerability — and just the right amount of crass jokes. It’s a tough time to articulate and represent Jewish identity in artistic media while keeping it light. Yet I insist on celebrating Jewish joy and family, which can endure through conflict and grow from it. I hope we see you at the festival!