At Mira Stern’s home in Oakland, a different kind of Passover ritual is set to unfold this weekend. There will be no hurried page turns or impatient glances toward the kitchen.
“Coming Home: A Sensual Seder for Love and Liberation” reimagines one of Judaism’s most tradition-bound rituals as an embodied, slow-moving experience in what Stern describes as a “multisensory Passover ritual of pleasure.”
Despite frequent outside inquiries, she’s quick to clarify: It’s not a sex party.
Now in its second year, the adults-only April 5 gathering returns with wine, nonalcoholic options, and vegan and vegetarian dishes. Attendance is split between sliding-scale ticket holders and “kitchen witches,” or community members who help prepare the meal.
Stern, who describe herself as a “community curator” and works as the head of youth and family education at the Reconstructionist Or Shalom Jewish Community in San Francisco, said the goal is to shift liberation from an abstract concept into something physically felt. Participants are informed that the seder is explicitly framed as non-Zionist and pro-Palestinian, with a dress code dubbed “liberation chic.” Still, Stern said its focus remains inward rather than political, with the goal of slowing down, connecting and experiencing freedom in the body.
The ritual loosely follows the traditional seder structure, guided by a haggadah created by co-host Snowflake Arizmendi-Calvert, a queer dancer and choreographer of Indigenous and Sephardic heritage. Rather than a fixed script, the text offers prompts for reflection, small-group conversation and sensory awareness. Washing hands becomes a meditation on touch, for example, and eating invites attention to flavor and texture.
“We wanted to move away from seders that feel rote,” Stern said. “Even in progressive spaces, there can be a sense of going through the motions. We wanted to center pleasure, connection, and what it actually feels like to be free, even momentarily.”
Music and sound help shape that experience. While last year featured a guest cantor, this year will lean into “spontaneous singing” and meditative elements like a sound bath, allowing the evening to unfold organically.
Ultimately, the sensual seder invites participants to feel the Passover story, not just retell it, Stern said, imagining what liberation might actually feel like in the body, long after the night ends.