As soon as Rabbi Josh Zweiback starts singing the Sh’ma to his toddler daughter, Isa, she knows it’s time for bed.
“It begins to calm her down,” he said.
Zweiback will soon be leading a workshop on Jewish rituals that parents can perform with their children, such as reciting the Sh’ma before bedtime. The adult learning coordinator at Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos Hills has some experience with such rituals as the father of Isa and newborn Ariela.
But his interest in the topic predates becoming a father. Zweiback is part of Mah Tovu, a musical trio consisting of himself and two friends he’s known since his youth-group days. Even though one member lives in New York and another in Denver, they still manage to get together from time to time to work on new material.
“We had this idea, before any of us became parents, to find a way to bring ancient Jewish ritual into people’s homes so they could go to bed and wake up Jewishly,” he said. “We wanted to create something that would empower parents to bring these rituals into their homes.”
The result was “Days of Wonder, Nights of Peace: Family Prayers in Song for Morning and Bedtime,” a booklet and CD published recently by the Behrman House.
While observant Jews say certain prayers in the morning and evening, “many people didn’t grow up with that, and they crave something for their kids,” said Zweiback.
The tradition of reciting such prayers comes from the V’ahavta prayer, which says, “You should reflect upon these words when you lie down and when you rise up,” said Zweiback.
“For thousands of years, Sh’ma yisrael were the last words one said before going to bed.”
While the Sh’ma is also said in the morning, another prayer is recited as well, called “Modeh Ani” (or “Modah Ani” for women).
“This prayer is one of thanks for being alive,” said Zweiback. Together with the Sh’ma, these two prayers consist of “bookends to the Jewish day, that we end and begin with these words of thanks and a declaration of God’s presence in our lives.”
Outside of just the Jewish element though, Zweiback said that having a bedtime and morning ritual is “really important to giving kids a sense of time.”
Many people feel they are not knowledgeable or religious enough to incorporate such rituals into their children’s lives, said Zweiback.
“These workshops are our attempt to make these ancient rituals accessible to modern Jews who don’t know them.”
The CD comes with four songs. “The morning songs are very upbeat and fun, and the evening songs are designed to help a kid fall asleep.”
In addition to the prayers, the book has suggested games and activities that parents can do with their children.
The activities include rhyming and acrostic games and an Israeli nursery-style rhyme inspired by “This little piggy.”
One prayer is deliberately missing words, with suggested words included, so that children can fill in their own, thanking God for things of their own choosing.
Zweiback has already led a few of these workshops, and has received positive feedback from parents. He is leading one soon for the family education fellows at the S.F.-based Bureau of Jewish Education.
“People like that it’s not overwhelming,” he said. “It’s very easy to use. You just press ‘play.'”
Zweiback pointed out that the Hebrew word for parents is horim, which comes from the same root as the word for teacher, moreh, as well as Torah.
“Our primary teachers are our parents,” he said. “Part of the V’ahavta is ‘you shall teach these words to your children.’ It’s our responsibility as parents, not the rabbi, not the educator, not the next-door neighbor, but Mom and Dad.”