There’s an old saw among psychologists: Before you solve a problem, you first have to admit there is a problem.
Sometimes, that’s the hardest step to take. For example, regarding domestic violence, the Jewish community traditionally has ignored the subject, denying that anything so repugnant could affect Jewish families.
Guess what? It does. The incidence of domestic violence in the Jewish community parallels that of society in general. As disturbing as that fact may be, it’s good to know that organizations such as Shalom Bayit are around to combat the scourge.
This week, Shalom Bayit celebrates 13 years of service to battered Jewish women across the Bay Area. It’s a bat mitzvah worth celebrating. Along with other community leaders and organizations, we salute the little East Bay-based agency that has done so much to help women in the region.
The upcoming celebration’s honorary host committee includes such political luminaries as Sen. Barbara Boxer, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Tom Lantos. That indicates just how deep an impact Shalom Bayit has made on the Bay Area and beyond.
Not only is Shalom Bayit the only local organization devoted solely to Jewish victims of domestic violence, it is one of the few in the country. According to executive director Naomi Tucker, Shalom Bayit provides technical assistance to many social service agencies, Jewish and non-Jewish, combating domestic violence around the state and across America.
Still, it is not anywhere near the top of the list of well-known Jewish organizations here. Why? Most likely because it represents the public face of a private shame. In our hearts we know Tucker and her colleagues merit full support, yet for too many, domestic violence remains a problem of the “other,” a problem outside the bounds of the Jewish community.
Hopefully the celebration this week will draw further attention to the issue and to the organization working so hard for a remedy. Perhaps in the future we as a community can more squarely face the problem and work to eliminate it from our midst.
As Jews, we believe in our own highest ideals: a Torah-based prescription for living that honors women, reveres the family and renounces physical violence. We should never waver from that creed. Yet neither can we afford to ignore an ugly problem that potentially undermines that foundation.
The term Shalom Bayit means “peace in the home” in Hebrew. Peace in the home is our fondest desire. We salute Shalom Bayit for playing a crucial role in helping to keep the peace in our homes.