When Bob Capestrain was widowed a few years ago, he thought his world had ended. But a month later, he took his grandson on a ski trip that he and his wife had planned to take. On that trip, he met the woman who would breathe new life into him.
“It was a two-week trip,” the 70-year-old recalled. “Cynthia was on the trip with her girlfriend. I was very cautious in the beginning because I was recently widowed and I wasn’t looking. I invited her out to dinner and fell in love.”
Cynthia, who had divorced 18 years earlier, felt the same. The Capestrains were married a year-and-a-half later.
Is it ever too late to fall in love? The answer is no. According to one Ohio singles organization, the seniors group is among the most active of its four groups — teens, adults with no previous marriage, previously married adults and seniors.
When Sally and Bob Kitson were in their Jaycees group together many, many years ago, they were friends. They were both married at the time, family responsibilities came first and she eventually dropped out of the organization.
“We totally lost contact with each other,” she said. “When my first husband and I separated, I happened to run into Bob again. He had been divorced seven or eight years by then. It was like old friends being reunited after many, many years apart. We were very comfortable.”
It is never too late to find someone, said Maryann Meniru, an independent licensed counselor with Junaelo Institute of Reproductive Medicine in Canton, Ohio. “The spirit of loving is so special. It keeps us young. When people are in love, they are happier, more inspired.
“Love is something that comes through the heart. It is a personal thing. What people bring into any relationship or marriage is a lot, and if it will work depends on our expectations, chemistry, values and background.”
Love doesn’t always mean getting married, said Robert Devies, a psychologist with Psychological and Family Consultants in Jackson Township, Ohio.
“I have come to believe that it is never too late to fall in love with someone, but I think that the rules change,” said the widower. “You can only do the magical things once — the first car, the first house, the first baby. You only get to know that magic once. After that, it is more of a convenience —companionship.
“As we age, it becomes a different kind of love. There is a difference between romantic love and economic love. A relationship doesn’t have to lead to romance. It can lead to dinner every Saturday night or whatever the two people want.”
Both Devies and Mineru say that it is important to know what you want before committing to a relationship.
The Kitsons couldn’t agree more.
“We get along very well,” Bob Kitson said. “I feel very fortunate to have known Sally. I dated a lot of people when I was single and none of them were compatible. Both of us started out with good marriages, but things just didn’t work out.”
It has been a wonderful relationship, said Sally Kitson. “I can truthfully say it has been wonderful because he is not only a husband, but a good friend. One of the things we did early on was start going to [religious services] together, and that was very important to our relationship. Our families get along well, but we don’t try to force a relationship. We are just glad they have adapted well.”
Compatibility also played a major role for the Capestrains.
“I never thought I would marry again,” Bob Capestrain said. “But we have so much in common. We like to ski, travel, ride our bikes, dance and just a lot of things. My first wife was a wonderful woman and now I’ve been blessed with another wonderful woman.”