Nitzavim
Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20
Haftarah: Isaiah 61:10-63:9
I was a precocious teenager. When I reached high school, my parents gave me the option of attending our area’s two-hour-a-week communal high school program or our synagogue’s six-hour-a-week Hebrew high school program. (Not going at all was simply not an option.) I figured with the stress of high school, I would take the shorter time commitment. My rabbi had other ideas.
Just as the school year was beginning, he called me into his office, and asked me a timely High Holy Day question: What does “teshuvah” mean? Remember, I was a precocious teenager. And so, I did a quick calculation. “Teshuvah” means “return;” he’s thinking “return to Hebrew school.”
I don’t want to go there. I translated the word with every other meaning I could think of: repentance, a rabbinic responsa, an answer. No “returning” from me!
I think he is happily laughing last, now that I am a rabbi too.
There are some things that so clearly illustrate how brilliant our sages were in setting the Jewish calendar and our cycle of Torah readings. One of them is that Parashat Nitzavim always falls either right before Rosh Hashanah or on Shabbat Shuvah (the Shabbat of Repentance/Return, the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). We read this week’s parshah at the time of year when we are most thinking of teshuvah.
Why is this juxtaposition so meaningful? Seven times within the space of 10 verses of our parshah, we see the Hebrew root of “teshuvah,” of that challenge made to me as a teenager. “Shuv,” which, yes, really does mean “return” or “turn,” appears multiple times in close proximity. Enough times to make it noteworthy.
“When all these things befall you, the blessing and the curse … and you take them to heart (literally, “turn your heart”) amidst the various nations to which Adonai your God has banished you. And you return toward Adonai your God … then Adonai your God will turn your captivity, and have compassion upon you and will return and gather you … And you shall return and obey the voice of Adonai … for Adonai will turn again to rejoice over you … once you return to Adonai your God with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deut. 30:1-3, 8-10).
Even more incredible than the Torah’s thematic relevance to this time of year, the turning and returning in our parshah is far from one-sided. Most of us, when we think about the Days of Awe, think of our returning — to services, to better actions, to more ethical paths, to God.
In our text, God returns, as well.
Seven times there is a back and forth of returning. Sometimes we return. And, it would seem, sometimes God does the turning! Throughout the hard work of finding God, of re-creating our best selves, God, our text implies, is there to meet us, to support and help us. God turns to us, showing God’s willingness to engage us in deep connections.
Our Sages pick up on this concept. “The compassion of God goes forth toward humanity when they also return,” teaches one midrash (Numbers Rabbah 2:10). Another states, “God says to us: Make an opening for repentance as large as the eye of a needle, and I will make it large enough for wagons and carriages to pass” (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 5:2).
But the turning and returning is presented as ongoing. Never complete. And perhaps this is the deepest message for this time of year. Each Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur we could easily become depressed: I’m right back where I was last year! Didn’t I make this same promise 12 months ago? What happened?
We are reminded that returning is a never-ending process. Indeed, we goof up. We err. We backslide. And, our tradition says, that’s normal. It is part of being human. Do not be ashamed: God is still waiting. God loves us, and just wants us always attempting to do our best, to grow and to discover holiness.
Can we do any less than that that, especially at this time of year, when the Gates of Return are open so wide?
Rabbi Michelle Fisher is the spiritual leader of Congregation B’nai Shalom in Walnut Creek.