Good marketing
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome — one has a cross in front of him, the other one a Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country, and this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite.”
The beggar behind the Star of David listens to the priest, then turns to the other beggar with the cross and says: “Moishe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.”
The afterlife
At a conference on religion a priest, a minister and a rabbi were all asked the same question: “What would you like people to say about you after you die?”
The priest said, “I hope that people will say that I was able to rise above the scandals that are plaguing the Catholic Church at this time. I hope they will say that I was able to shepherd my flock through this crisis and help them to understand the absolute love that God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit have for all of them as Catholics.”
The minister then said, “When I die I hope that people will say that I saved many souls by bringing them to Christ. I hope that I will be remembered as a caring, thoughtful man who always spread the Word, the love of Christ and a faith everlasting in God. I hope that my preaching and converting will be carried on in my memory and to the glory of Christ.”
Finally, the rabbi was asked, “Rabbi, what do you hope people will say about you after you have died?”
The rabbi answered, “Look! He’s breathing!”
© david minkoff