Solo prayer
It’s Monday morning and Nathan is in shul praying. “Oh God, please help me. I’m in terrible trouble. My business is taking heavy losses, the IRS is demanding immediate payment of my last two years of taxes and my wife is about to leave me.”
Just then, Nathan hears the man next to him praying: “Oh God, please help me. I’m really in trouble. My older son is about to marry a non-Jew, my unmarried daughter is pregnant … “
Nathan takes out his wallet and removes $100. He turns to the other congregant and says, “Enough already of your tsuris. Here, take this money and go away. I need God to concentrate solely on me.”
The bullfight
Benny and Leah are on vacation in Spain and decide to go to a bullfight. While they are watching the grand procession, which takes place before the bullfight commences, Leah starts asking a lot of questions. Fortunately, Benny had been to a bullfight some years earlier and is able to answer them.
“Benny, who’s that leading the procession?” asks Leah.
“That’s the toreador, Leah.”
“So who’s that behind the toreador?”
“That’s the matador, Leah.”
“And who’s that man behind the matador, Benny?”
”That’s the picador, Leah,” says Benny, a little fed up with all the questions.
“And who’s the little man behind the picador?” asks Leah.
“That’s Isadore, the kosher butcher.”