The mind reader
The Jewish mother looks down over her balcony and sees her son, Mervyn, playing baseball on the lawn.
“Mervyn,” she shouts down at him, “Mervyn, please come inside at once.”
Mervyn looks up at her and says, “Why mom? Am I cold again?”
“No, Mervyn, you’re not cold,” his mother replies. “You want to eat.”
© david minkoff
Home sweet home
Shlomo is attending a job interview. After he fills in the application form, he’s taken in to see the human resources manager.
“Good morning, Shlomo,” the HR manager says. “Thank you for filling out the form. Please give me a few minutes to go through it and then I’ll ask you some questions.”
Two minutes later, the HR manager looks up and says to Shlomo, “OK, I’ve got a good picture of your qualifications. But I’m confused about two answers you’ve given. In section four, you state that you have no relatives living abroad, yet in section eight you state that you have a sister in Israel. How can that be?”
“Well, it’s true that I have a sister living in Israel,” Shlomo replies, “but she’s not the one living abroad. I am.”
© david minkoff
A priest and a rabbi …
A priest and a rabbi operate a church and a synagogue across Holman Avenue from each other. Since their schedules intertwine, they decide to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drive it to Holman Avenue and park it on the street between them.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looks out and sees the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn’t need a wash, so he hurries out and asks the priest what he’s doing.
“I’m blessing it,” the priest replies.
The rabbi considers this a moment, then goes back inside the synagogue.
He reappears a moment later with a hacksaw, walks over to the back of the car and cuts off two inches of the tailpipe.