Did you know that flowers have a language?
With that in mind, the flowers you select for yourself, your wedding attendants and others on your wedding day can be used to deliver a personal message.
From the beginning of written words, poets spelled out the significance of flowers in legend and myth, Bible stories, drama and song.
One online wag says that the language-of-flowers phenomenon began in the 1600s in Constantinople and was brought to England in 1716 by Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, who spent time in Turkey with her husband.
The online writer further claims that the interest in flower language then moved to France, where “La Langue de Fleurs” was published. This book explained the significance of more than 800 flowers, the writer says, and when it was translated into English during the time of Queen Victoria, the definitions, some of them quite lusty, had to be toned down a bit.
The writer’s claim is weakened considerably by Inger Lund, who writes in a piece for the Hearst Corporation, “In the early 1700s, Charles II of Sweden introduced a new language to Europe when he brought the Persian poetical art called ‘the language of flowers’ to the west.”
Whether it was Lady Montagu who began the craze or Charles II, floral lexicons were widely published throughout the 18th century, “allowing secrets to be exchanged with a lily or lilac, and an entire conversation to take place in a bouquet,” writes Lund, adding that “the rose carries the most baggage by far.”
Roses grew in gardens in Asia as long as 5,000 years ago, making them the longevity queens of flower cultivation. In its wild state, the rose is believed to go back even farther. According to the home arts site, rose fossils date from 35 million years ago.
No matter the language, roses seem to say, “I love you” in a more recognizable way than any other flower. They have long been the favored blooms used in weddings. Even the color of the rose is fraught with meaning. Red and white together symbolize unity; pink means grace and gentility; and yellow stands for joy.
Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable reports, “Medieval legend asserts that the first roses appeared miraculously at Bethlehem as the result of prayers of a “fayre Mayden” who had been falsely accused and sentenced to death by burning.” Obviously, medieval legend-makers were oblivious to the fossil record.
In Greek mythology, the goddess Chloris turns a dead nymph into a flower. Her beauty was then enhanced by Aphrodite, given brilliance, joy and charm by the three Graces. The flower, a rose of course, was given to the love god Eros and named “Queen of the Flowers.”
The Romans tell it another way. The maiden Rodanthe had many suitors but she would have none of them. The suitors broke down the maiden’s door and the Roman goddess Diana was so infuriated she turned Rodanthe into a rose, her suitors into thorns.
Writing in “Weddings for Dummies,” which she co-authored with Laura Fisher Kaiser, Manhattan wedding and special events planner Marcy Blum says, “Today, the language of flowers is spoken most often at weddings and encompasses the language of herbs as well. Since ancient Greece, where brides carried herbs and grains as signs of fertility, many a bride has slipped sprigs of herbs into her bridal bouquet to convey a special meaning or to fool the evil eye.
“For years, only one style of bouquet was considered appropriate for formal weddings: roses, stephanotis and lily of the valley. No longer. At even extremely formal ceremonies, brides now carry a variety of flowers and colors.”
Grooms are much more involved in all phases of the process of planning the wedding, says Blum. “They might as well get their say. It’s much better from the bride’s point of view, because the men can’t turn around after the fact and say, ‘God, I hated the flowers.'”
Men are also becoming more creative in selecting boutonnieres for themselves and their groomsmen. Cornflowers are in. So are such uncommon items as boutonnieres made of green blueberries, seen recently in a bridal magazine.
Traditional bouquet and centerpiece elements include ivy, alstroemeria, amaryllis, calla lily, freesia, stephanotis, tulip, viburnum, rosemary, rose, bluebell, hydrangea, borage and peony.
In “The Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Wedding,” Teddy Lenderman writes: “Ivy represents fidelity; lily of the valley, purity; red roses, love; violets, modesty; forget-me-nots, true love; orange blossoms, fertility and happiness; and myrtle is the symbol of virginity.”
Those who wish to delve more deeply into the love story they may tell with their wedding flowers might order Kate Greenaway’s “Language of the Flowers” (Dover Publications), or Ann Field’s “The Meaning of Flowers” (Chronicle Books). If you plan a destination wedding and use flowers indigenous to, say, Jamaica, it’s a whole new ballgame. Check with the locals.
Remember that different cultures ascribe different meanings to flower colors, warns Blum. “Iranians and Peruvians give yellow flowers to their worst enemies, and Mexicans use them for funerals and Day of the Dead celebrations. Similarly, white flowers are a sign of mourning for Chinese.”