After just one experience at a HurryDate event for Jewish singles, Anna Ryaboy is sold on the concept.
“It’s one of the few events in the Bay Area where you can meet so many single Jewish men at the same time,” says Ryaboy, 39, of San Francisco. “All of the guys were so sincere, smart and handsome — it was impossible to choose one with ‘bad hair.’ I’ll go back.”
Speed dating might be on its way back, as well.
A recent Associated Press article noted that micro-dates — SpeedDate is actually a brand name — are being rebranded in New York as “a younger, hipper alternative to online dating.”
In Brooklyn’s heavily Jewish Williamsburg neighborhood, for example, Julia Segal launched a monthly event called “The Internet Killed Your Social Skills” that is filling a bar with 20-somethings (many in fedoras).
She calls it “hipster speed dating” and defines it as a way to polish up the dating skills that online dating and social networking sites, such as Facebook, have helped to obliterate.
“I don’t think it’s better, but I do think it’s more fun,” Segal says.
Segal and other planners in New York say the best-attended events are the ones that appeal to specific populations — such as ethnic and religious groups, pet lovers or people whose idea of a good time is a workout session at the gym.
The AP article cited one agency that had hosted some 10,000 date-seekers over the past two years, and the headline on the piece was “Speed dating gets a revival among 20-somethings.”
In San Francisco, the signs of a revival are less prevalent. A dozen or so speed-dating events are held in the Bay Area every month — with about one-third for Jewish singles — although online dating remains the more popular option.
In 2000, back before online dating took off, the JCC of San Francisco began hosting a SpeedDating program in which “thousands” of singles took part, according to the JCCSF’s Yossi Offenberg, who ran the events. But the JCCSF dropped SpeedDating in 2005 during its transition into a new building and a new level of programming.
However, a national company called HurryDate does hold speed-dating events for Jewish singles two or three times a month in San Francisco.
This month, for example, there have already been two events for Jewish singles at a North Beach bar, one for people 40 to 55 and another for people 49 and older.
On Oct. 27, an event for 25- to 35-year-old Jewish singles is scheduled for Azul (a lounge and tapas bar near Union Square) to be followed two weeks later by a Jewish-themed gathering for similar ages at a hip bar. Participants must register in advance at www.hurrydate.com.
Don Rosenthal went to a HurryDate event for Jewish singles last month. “It was an interesting experience, though I’m not sure if it’s exactly my style,” says Rosenthal, 55, of San Mateo. “I had a nice time, and met nice people.” Will he go back? Well, not right now; he just met someone online that he likes.
Los Angeles–based HurryDate started 10 years ago and now holds some 800 speed-dating events across
the country every year. Spark Networks, which also owns JDate.com, is the parent company.
“When HurryDate first started, this was a wild and crazy concept, a kooky thing,” says Adele Testani, director and founder. “In the beginning, people were not using it seriously, but now we find that a lot of customers use HurryDate as a way to meet a life partner.”
Here is how it works: Participants register in advance and pay $35, show up on the appointed night and spend an hour speaking for a few minutes with a minimum of eight potential dates.
“We don’t have too many rules or restrictions,” Testani says. “Some people come with prepared questions and some wing it, but there is no rejection on the night of the event.”
At the end of the evening, participants indicate on cards the people they would like to see again. Later, HurryDate’s website notifies participants who expressed interest, and provides an online profile and photo.
The Jewish singles events, Testani says, are the outfit’s most popular.
Rabbi Yaacov Deyo is widely credited with inventing what he called “round-robin dating” in 1998 in Los Angeles. It was an idea that quickly spread around the world and even garnered comment in an episode of “Sex and the City.”
“Originally the events attracted primarily the marriage-minded, and took place in synagogues,” Testani says. “Today, HurryDate events take place in bars.”
Offenberg introduced Deyo’s Speed-Dating at the JCC of San Francisco in 2000, and in addition to the evening of dating, the program included two classes on relationships.
“Our program was not based on superficial things, physical things,” he recalls. “We talked about what to look for in a partner, how to make things work, how to know if you had found the right person. We talked about how to interview one another for the job of spouse in the traditional Orthodox way, which has been going on for centuries.”
One of the people who attended a couple of three-part sessions (two classes on relationships and one speed-dating session) at the JCCSF was Hannah, who doesn’t want her last name used. She says she liked speed dating because on her regular dates, she spent all of her time flirting.
“SpeedDating gave me a framework for future dates,” she says, “a way to extract enough information in five minutes to decide whether I wanted to see a guy again.” Did it work for her? Well, today is she is married with two kids and living in the North Bay, but she didn’t meet her husband at SpeedDating.
Though the JCCSF’s speed-dating program is no more, and Offenberg has moved on to work in the membership department, he does point out that the JCC offers a range of events for singles, including programs with social components (for more information, visit www.jccsf.org).
Speed dating these days seems to have fallen into the domain of entrepreneurs, such Manhattan’s Speed Dating Connections, which primarily focuses on ethnicity-based dating. Jacob Tanur, the owner, says it only makes sense to whittle down the number of people in the dating pool.
“Everybody is looking for something specific in every person,” he says. “An athletic person doesn’t want to date a couch potato.”
Though speed-dating programs don’t track how many micro-dates lead to serious commitments, at any given event, the hosts see positive signs.
“One night, I encouraged a woman to come to a mixer we were having,” says Jan Haley-Soule, who has served as a host for some of the HurryDate events in San Francisco. “I got really busy and didn’t get to speak with her — but when I was getting ready to leave, I saw her holding hands with a guy.”
Former j. intern Yelena Tsurkan and the Associated Press contributed to this report.