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As I prepare for the introspection of the High Holidays, I find myself reflecting on a time over a decade ago when I was cut off from my Jewish community and from God — a time when alcohol had me in its grips.

On the outside, I held it mostly together and put on a happy face. On the inside, I was spiritually bankrupt, and I was filled with self-hatred and shame.

When I was finally ready, I began my journey into the world of recovery through the Twelve Steps of AA.

At first, my Jewish identity made me feel like an outsider in AA because I perceived Christian undertones in the volume Alcoholics Anonymous (otherwise known as “The Big Book”), which contains the blueprint for the 12-step program of recovery.

But once I learned to look for the similarities, I was surprised to see my Jewish prayerbook come alive as AA prayers, and my AA prayers suddenly felt Jewish.

Then a new gift was revealed.

As I progressed through the steps and learned to live spiritually, my connection to God and to Judaism grew deeper. Much of the process of my recovery mirrors what we are all asked to do as Jews during the High Holidays.

Forgiveness is a central theme in our High Holidays liturgy, and also in AA. Resentment or anger will eventually lead me to a drink, so I had to learn to choose forgiveness instead of nursing my resentments.

Here’s how I learned to do that. First, I name what happened. Then, I practice self-awareness by looking for my part. (I always have a part in a resentment. If I didn’t, I would feel neutral, not resentful.)

As I progressed through the 12 steps and learned to live spiritually, my connection to God and to Judaism grew deeper.

Next, I ask God to remove the resentment.

Finally, I turn my attention to someone I can help. Being of service is essential to this process. Forgiving others in this way has turned out to be a powerful tool for cultivating peace and serenity.

Although our Jewish liturgy focuses on seeking forgiveness at this time of year, in addition to granting it, I discovered that for my sobriety, receiving forgiveness is not required. It only matters that I earnestly do my best to clean up my side of the street and make things right. Although forgiveness is certainly desired, I have learned to hold my head high regardless of whether I am granted forgiveness.

Another similarity between my AA and Jewish lives is the practice of atonement. To stay sober, it’s critical that I strive to live what we Jews might call a righteous life. But making amends is not as simple as apologizing and asking for forgiveness. I must take responsibility for my actions, then make things right.

After naming the offense and sharing regret for my wrong actions, I ask what I can do to make things right. Then I stop talking and listen. If I don’t agree with what is being said, I bite my tongue. Finally, I do what is asked of me to the best of my ability and try not to repeat the offending behavior, to that person or to anyone. In AA, we call this a “living amends.” A living amends is also a beautiful way to make amends to someone who is no longer with us.

Teshuvah, or turning toward God, is another core tenet of the High Holidays, and one that has also been a cornerstone of my recovery. I took a rigorous moral inventory and made a list of the character traits which caused my resentments, fears and poor behavior — in my case, self-righteousness, envy, self-pity and lack of faith.

Now I pray for these traits to be removed daily, because they prevent me from feeling connected to God, and without that connection, I cannot be the woman I was meant to be.

I believe this is exactly what is asked of all Jews during the High Holidays — to take a rigorously honest look at ourselves and then to explore how we can be better in the new year.

Today I’m grateful to be a sober, contributing member of my Jewish community. I pray that each of us enters the New Year with hope — and maybe even a measure of peace — in our hearts.