The Torah column is supported by a generous donation from Eve Gordon-Ramek in memory of Kenneth Gordon.
Chayei Sarah
Genesis 23:1-25:18
Every now and then, someone will lean in, a little uncertain, a little hopeful, and ask me, “Rabbi, how do I get God to answer my prayers?”
It’s a question as old as prayer itself, and I’d like to share an answer that draws on a Hasidic teaching: “Love another, and God will love you. Help someone, and God’s help will find you.” (Hayom Yom, 15 Iyar)
It’s a teaching that invites us to look deeply into what it means to connect with God. We all come to prayer with different hopes. For some, it’s a desire for connection and comfort; for others, it’s the hope for tangible blessings — whether for friendship, health, guidance or financial stability. We come to prayer with the hope that God will hear us, see our needs and respond.
But here lies a paradox: Sometimes, the surest way to have our prayers answered is to become the answer to someone else’s.
There’s a powerful illustration of this in this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah. It tells the story of Abraham sending his loyal servant, Eliezer, on a journey to find a wife for his son Isaac. Eliezer, a devoted servant, feels the weight of his mission and prays to God for a sign: “Let the woman who offers water not only to me but also to my camels be the one.” With that, he sets off, hoping for divine guidance.
Eliezer soon arrives at a well, where he encounters a young woman named Rebekah. He asks her for a drink, and without hesitation, she responds, “I’ll not only give you a drink, but I’ll also draw water for your camels.”
It’s worth noting the sheer magnitude of this offer. A thirsty camel can drink up to 20 gallons of water, and Eliezer had 10 camels with him. Rebekah was volunteering to draw some 200 gallons of water, one bucket at a time, for a total stranger.
In that one act of kindness, Rebekah became the answer to Eliezer’s prayer. Her generous response was not just an act of hospitality. It was the very sign he was seeking.
But what Rebekah could not have known was that, in offering to help a stranger, she was opening the door to a future far beyond her imagination. Her act of kindness, born out of a willingness to serve, would change her life forever. She would become Isaac’s bride, the matriarch of a great people and an enduring figure in Jewish history.
This story offers us a profound insight into the way God’s blessings often work in the world. Like Rebekah, we, too, may find that by being the answer to another’s prayer, we become the answer to our own.
When we act as the blessing someone else is praying for, we discover blessings of our own — blessings we may not have even thought to ask for.
In our own lives, we all know people who are quietly praying for help. Some pray for friendship, hoping someone will notice their loneliness. Others are in need of encouragement as they navigate challenges in their work or personal lives. Still others are praying for support as they face illnesses or struggles with mental health. These prayers are all around us, waiting, in a sense, for someone to notice, to reach out, to respond.
Imagine what happens when we choose to be that someone. It can be as simple as a phone call to a friend who’s been out of touch or a word of encouragement to a colleague going through a difficult time.
It can be a helping hand offered to someone in financial strain or a listening ear for someone who feels unheard. In each of these acts, we become, in a small yet powerful way, the answer to someone else’s prayer. And something remarkable often happens in the process. When we reach out to others, we discover a deeper sense of purpose, of connection, of joy. We find that in giving, we are also receiving, and in blessing others, we ourselves are blessed.
So if you ever find yourself wondering how to get God to answer your prayers, consider reaching out and looking for someone who may be praying for what you can give. Be the friend, the helping hand, the encouraging voice someone else is waiting for.
In that act, may you find, as Rebekah did, that God’s answers are often closer than we think, sometimes waiting where we least expect them.
In becoming a blessing to others, we open the doors of blessing for ourselves. This is not merely a teaching about prayer, but about life itself, where God’s love flows through us when we learn to give as generously as we hope to receive.