Rhiana Maidenberg finally realized eight presents over eight nights was too many for her children. Three years ago, she decided to make Chanukah about giving as much as receiving.
She began a new family tradition for the fifth night, on which her two children would forgo presents and instead donate toys to the needy. “We’d go to Target, pick up something and put it in the box for Toys for Tots,” said the San Francisco mom.
After talking to her friend Carey Wintroub, the two decided to go wide, launching the Fifth Night Project. Last year they enlisted three local Jewish preschools to take part, and for Chanukah this year, that grew to nine schools, with PJ Library and JFCS’ Parents Place co-sponsoring.
Organizers deemed the 2012 project — the fifth night was on Dec. 12 — a success, with hundreds of families taking part. About 1,000 toys were distributed through local Jewish Family and Children’s Services programs.
“Parents love a tangible way for their kids to give tzedakah,” said Vivien Braly of PJ Library, which distributes free Jewish-themed children’s books to households across North America. “For a 3-year-old, it’s nice to have a hands-on project they can do: giving a toy to somebody else.”
Schools taking part included Beth Ami in Santa Rosa, Gan Noe and Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, Chai in Foster City, Gan Avraham in Oakland and preschools at Jewish Community Centers in Palo Alto, Marin and San Francisco.
The project involved weeks of build-up at the schools, including instruction on tzedakah and reading the book “How Dalia Put a Big Yellow Comforter Inside a Tiny Blue Box” by Linda Heller.
“It’s the story of a little girl who teaches her brother about tzedakah,” Braly added. “We used that as an illustration of how kids can do tzedakah in their communities. We also gave them tzedakah boxes [to] decorate. It was all built around this eventual collection of toys.”
Betsy Surtshin serves as a teacher at the Osher Marin JCC preschool in San Rafael. Through reading, decorating and candle making, her 4-year-olds seemed to grasp quickly the concept of giving.
“It took three days to complete the book because they had so many questions,” Surtshin said. “We sent home newsletters about the Fifth Night. The parents thought it was a great idea.”
In the days leading up to the fifth night, her students purchased books, toys, games and stuffed animals to load into the Fifth Night collection bin. The kids personally picked out the items — a key aspect of the project, according to Maidenberg.
“I wanted them to give something up of their own,” she said. “What is the most meaningful way for them to [that]? With charity, it’s just money, which is so abstract it doesn’t make sense or sink in.”
The first year Maidenberg tried this, she set aside the sixth night of Chanukah. A year later that changed to the fifth night, which Jewish mystics have long believed holds special sway.
Some Hassidic communities throw parties on the fifth night, with an emphasis on tzedakah. The fifth day falls on the 29th of Kislev, which is Erev Rosh Chodesh Teves. That is a day of importance (called Yom Kippur katan or “small Yom Kippur”), reserved for fasting and prayers in some religious communities.
Maidenberg and Wintroub had no idea about any of this when they switched the dates, but they figured all the kabbalistic mojo could only help the project.
Braly at PJ Library thinks the Fifth Night Project could easily go national.
“We want to expand it to all the schools,” she said. “We would love to partner with day schools. Kids respond so well to the idea of giving.”
Last week, the Maidenbergs dropped their toys off at the school toy bin, then drove to the store, loading up on groceries for a local food bank. That night they shared pizza with the Wintroubs, lit candles and talked about the experience.
“We said a toast to the Fifth Night, talked about the toys we got for other kids and how excited they will be,” she said. “It’s not so much the toy drive as teaching preschoolers about the art of giving. The toy drive is a bonus.”