Jonathan Harris, the Advice Mensch, is a synagogue administrator and writer-editor living in San Francisco with his wife, three daughters and an ungrateful cat. He can be reached at [email protected].
Recently, I was out for a casual after-work drink with a co-worker (we’ll call her Sally). She works in the human resources department and, after a few too many drinks, she confided to me that a recent hire who works in my department (we’ll call him Bill) once served time in prison for fraud. I am uncomfortable knowing this information. Also, I have observed nothing but hard work and professional conduct from Bill and am worried Sally may hurt his reputation and chances for advancement in the company if she repeats this fact about his past to others. I’m wondering if I should tell Bill what I know so that he can protect himself, but I don’t want to embarrass him. Would it be better to speak with Sally and caution her to be more discreet? — Al in Dublin
Dear Al: You are to be commended for your compassion toward Bill and your motivation to protect him. Whatever mistakes or bad decisions he may have made in the past need not be brought to bear on his value as an employee now. If in fact a blemish on his record came to light in a background check, a decision was made by management to hire Bill nonetheless and, from your description of his performance thus far, that decision was a good one.
If you are familiar with the term lashon hara, then you know it is often used by Jewish people as a synonym for gossip. But in fact, it translates to “evil tongue” and describes speech that “says something negative about a person or party, is not previously known to the public, is not seriously intended to correct or improve a negative situation, and is true.” Sound familiar?
But the fact is, you don’t actually know the truth about Bill’s past other than what he may have told you in conversation. All you have is an ugly rumor trafficked by an extraordinarily unprofessional and destructive individual. As Mensch sees it, this issue has less to do with Bill than it does with Sally. According to the Society for Human Resource Management, “human resource professionals should understand the importance of maintaining the confidentiality of sensitive employee information … In addition to sensitive employee information, human resources must maintain confidentiality about management or business information that is not available to non-management employees.”
It would seem that there are a number of compelling reasons for you to take action, including Bill’s right to privacy and the potential liability to your company resulting from breaches of confidentiality by an unstable member of the human resources team. Who knows what other stories Sally is telling and to whom, especially after a few too many drinks?
Mensch’s advice would be to take this matter to someone above Sally, either her supervisor in human resources or the head of that department. An HR professional worth his or her salt will be trained to handle employee complaints and probably will have a procedure for handling this one with fairness and discretion. If, heaven forbid, Sally is head of HR, take this matter to someone above her. That person may be grateful it is you making the complaint rather than Bill and his lawyer. And make sure you mention the role alcohol played in this situation. Perhaps Sally has a problem that can be ameliorated with treatment. If your company was sufficiently high-minded to hire someone with a criminal record (if indeed that is the case), maybe the company will extend compassion to Sally and offer her an opportunity to correct her behavior.
Once you have taken this action, providing you are satisfied the higher-ups are taking action to strengthen controls, there is no compelling reason to tell Bill what you heard. If you find Sally’s revelation coloring your relationship with him, remind yourself that the only parts of the story you know to be true are that he was selected for this job and is impressing you with his performance.