Being a good guest may seem simple. But talk to anyone who has hosted a catered party, and you may find out you haven’t been quite as good as you thought. Here are few pointers to keep you on everyone’s guest list:
*RSVP as soon as you know whether you can attend the party. In any event, do not delay beyond the date RSVPs are requested. A hand-written note on the RSVP card will earn you extra points.
*If illness or an emergency arises that prevents you from attending, let your hostess know immediately. Even if your meal can’t be canceled, your hostess will be able to redo table seating in advance rather than being surprised on the day of the party.
*Read the envelope and see who’s actually invited. Unless the party is hosted by your mother, don’t ask to bring extra guests.
*If you’re dropping children off at a bar or bat mitzvah, ask the hostess in advance what time you should pick them up.
*Keep your kids under control. Life-cycle events are family occasions, but a screaming child can destroy a celebrant’s concentration and spoil the enjoyment of the guests.
*If a gift is being brought to the party, make sure the card is securely attached. When there are three cardless gifts and five people unaccounted for, there’s no graceful way for a hostess to find out whom to thank. Or, better yet, send the gift ahead. Miss Manners writes that gifts should never be brought to a wedding reception.
*If a couple of months have passed and you haven’t received a thank-you note, it’s OK to call the hostess to make sure the gift was received.
*Don’t rearrange table seating. Your hostess has put a lot of time into planning who sits where.
*Don’t walk off with a centerpiece.
*Unless you’ve cleared it with your hostess first, don’t skip the service and just go to the party.
*Although some rules of etiquette say you have one year to send a gift, don’t wait that long.
*Extra high marks go to guests who write or call the hostess after the party to say how much they enjoyed it.