Most of today’s standard wedding customs have roots in ancient times when marriages were simpler, less expensive and — dare I say — more primitive. However, in many cases these old practices have evolved into symbols of modern-day love and commitment.
Many brides, as they walk down the aisle, wonder why they are wearing a white gown, surrounded by attendants, about to be symbolically joined with a wedding ring and a kiss. Grooms have asked themselves how it could be bad luck to see the bride before the wedding festivities — in Jewish tradition, the bedeken ceremony. And couples have dreaded the moment when they will be pelted with rice.
They don’t question their love or their wish to marry. They just want to know where all of this began.
So don’t set your date without boning up on a little wedding history.
First of all, a white wedding gown is a throwback to the early Greeks and Romans, who donned white garb any time they felt like celebrating. It is only since the beginning of this century that white became a symbol of purity.
Ironically, the presence of bridesmaids and ushers dates back to when marriage by kidnapping was the norm. A would-be husband usually took along a few good men to fight off his intended’s brothers as well as other suitors. She usually plotted with her girlfriends to make sure she was kidnapped by the right man. It seems attendants’ roles haven’t changed that much — they’re still the best source of moral support.
The early Egyptians are thought to have exchanged the first wedding bands, envisioning the circle as a symbol of eternity. Throughout the ages wedding bands have been fashioned from grass, leather, stone, iron and finally silver and gold. They were placed on the third finger of the left hand, because the ancients believed the vein there led straight to the heart.
Initially, brides carried bouquets of herbs to drive away evil spirits. The “language of flowers” has evolved over the centuries as ivy and other flowers came to represent everlasting love, and other buds came to symbolize fertility, happiness and joy.
The prospect of spending eternity together makes couples more superstitious than usual on their wedding day. Not wishing to tempt fate, we often heed these “lucky” traditions to the letter.
In some traditions, it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, or the bedeken ceremony. But it once was also considered an ill omen for the bride to see herself in the mirror in her wedding dress.
The wedding ceremony was considered a definitive line between old and new; therefore, the bride would not be pure and new if her groom saw her ahead of time. Worse yet, she would leave part of herself behind if she saw her own reflection.
Today’s bride is still determined to wear something old to represent her past, something new to symbolize her hopes, something borrowed to celebrate her friendships and something blue to display her faith. A coin in her shoe reveals wishes for a life of luxury.
Rice has been thrown at happy couples for centuries and in many cultures, conveying guests’ good wishes for prosperity, bounty and fertility. Today, some well-wishers substitute birdseed, rose petals, potpourri or bubbles in lieu of dry rice, which can be dangerous for birds who eat it.
The wedding cake itself has been a symbol of good luck and fertility since the Romans broke bread over the bride’s head after the ceremony. The Chinese were the first to generously provide a whole piece of cake.
Overzealous guests used to scramble for bits and pieces of the bride’s clothing, including her garter, as tokens of luck. This probably evolved into the modern-day tradition of throwing the garter and bouquet to determine who will be the next lucky bride and groom.