For most couples, getting engaged is one of the happiest, most romantic times of their lives. No matter how it’s uttered or presented, a marriage proposal marks a special moment that will be remembered for years to come and retold again and again.
For this reason, it probably comes as no surprise that one of the most frequently asked questions of engaged couples is, “How did he propose?”
Every proposal, of course, is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to propose marriage. Proposals come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from the subtle to the sublime.
For some couples, it happens without much fanfare. For others it’s an elaborate event culminating weeks, or even months, of preparation.
There are stories of men proposing while skydiving or after crossing the finish line of a marathon. Others have used billboards, TV commercials and cyberspace to declare their love. And then there are the romantics who have donned suits of armor or scaled perilous cliffs to propose marriage.
But it’s not just men who are doing the proposing. In these days of sexual equality, many women are taking the initiative and popping the question themselves.
For example, one young female lawyer took matters into her own hands and drafted a legal summons, declaring her love for her boyfriend and subpoenaing him for life. Another woman proposed to her boyfriend during a Fourth of July fireworks extravaganza.
Special sites, such as the spot of a first kiss, are often popular.
Regardless of who does the asking and where it happens, a marriage proposal is an important event in any relationship. Take the time to identify a scenario that would be meaningful and memorable for both of you.
In doing so, it’s wise to keep certain engagement etiquette in mind.
There was a time, not too long ago, when men were expected to get permission from their future father-in-law before proposing marriage.
Although this custom may seem old-fashioned by today’s standards, it is still a polite and respected gesture for the groom to obtain “permission” from his father-in-law after proposing to his bride. At the very least, couples should share the news of their engagement with their parents before making their announcement public.
While some men still follow the age-old tradition of proposing marriage on bended knee, more and more men are looking for innovative ways to pop the question. That can mean broadcasting a proposal on the scoreboard at Yankee Stadium or hiring a plane to tow a banner reading “Will you marry me?”
If you’re looking for inspiration on unique ways to propose to your sweetheart –or are simply a romantic at heart — several books may prompt you to pop the question.
In Cynthia Muchnick’s book “Will You Marry Me? The World’s Most Romantic Proposals” (Macmillan), more than 50 newlywed couples share memories of how they became engaged.
And in “Marry Me! Courtships and Proposals of Legendary Couples” (Angel City Press), authors Wendy Goldberg and Betty Goodwin reveal the courtships and proposals of such famed couples as Priscilla and Elvis Presley, Hillary and Bill Clinton and Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier.
With a little imagination, it’s not hard to come up with a proposal that will be remembered for years to come. But whether you decide to go all out or keep it simple, remember the best marriage proposal is one that comes from the heart.