Cast your lot with the Net for Purim stories, recipes by Mark Mietkiewicz

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Start your tour at the Virtual Jerusalem — www.vjholidays.com/ purim/index.htm — which has everything for children from a history of the holiday and its traditions to several quizzes and games.

My favorite page at Virtual Jerusalem also has a great title: "The Abridged Abbreviated Annotated Scratch & Sniff Megilla, A Cuckoo Condensation."

Just follow the story and every time you pass your computer's cursor over a picture of a grogger, it will make the appropriate sound effect. Hear the booing when Haman is promoted to the king's second in command, listen as the gallows are built to hang Mordechai, and cheer along when the Jews are saved.

If you want to brush up on the story of Esther, sit back and listen to a virtual Megillah reading at www.613.org/purim.html

A traditional English translation of the Megillah can be found on Purim Play Today at www.us-israel.org/jsource/Bible/Esther.html

I also recommend taking a look at "Seven Silly and Serious Suggestions for a Wild and Meaningful Purim" at www.jewishfamily.com/holidays/danan.htm

On the same page, you'll also find links to a couple of Purim-related discussion areas. The first asks for your special Purim traditions. The other asks how you would answer a child who asks: "Will someone like Haman try to hurt me and other Jews?"

Speaking of silly, one of the highlights of the Purim is dressing up. If you think you've got a costume that the entire planet should see, then enter Chabad's World's Largest Purim Costume Contest at www.virtualpurim.com

One of the most popular traditions of the holiday is mishloach manot, the custom of sending gifts, usually food.

Tired of sending the same old prune and poppy-seed hamantaschen? Check out a site with dozens of hamantaschen recipes at www.eskimo.com/~jefffree/recipes/hamindex.htm

The site also offers recipes for other Purim goodies at www.eskimo.com/~jefffree/recipes/purindex.htm

For a more ethnic-oriented holiday, try the Persian Rice Cookies or Honey-Dipped Poppy Seed Cookies at www.cyber-kitchen.com/rfcj/category.cgi?category=PURIM

Purim is unique among all the Jewish holidays in that we enjoy a festive meal as the day is winding down.

Rabbi Susan Fendrick prefers to turn her Purim dinner into one gigantic kosher joke. Check it out at www.jewishfamily.com/ scripts/NewJfl/paper/Article.asp?ArticleID=869

She serves up a "mock treif" banquet with fake versions of foods that are normally off limits for kosher-keeping Jews.

"One friend is making ceviche, a Mexican dish usually made with scallops that will be made instead with fish," she writes. "Other dishes include cheese 'burgers' (made with one of the delicious vegetarian burgers available), BLT's (bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches) made with fake 'bacon,' and 'crab' salad made with an imitation product."

For Fendrick, there is a method to her meal: "Purim gives us a chance, while staying just within the bounds of the rules as we understand them, to show that nothing is too sacred to be made fun of. As a kid, I was sure of only one thing about God's nature: that it included a sense of humor."

Finally, I nearly choked on my hamantasch when I came across "Latke vs. Hamantash: A Materialist-Feminist Analysis" at http://users.uniserve.com/~hostrov/latkes.html

Penned by the erudite Robin Leidner of University of Pennsylvania's sociology department, she examines which food is more liberating for women — latkes or hamantashen. Leidner concludes that "for women, it is clear that hamantaschen offer far more scope for self-realization, egalitarian relations, and social progress than do latkes."

I'm glad Leidner removed the hamantasch from her cheek long enough to firmly plant her tongue there.