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What makes your guests come away from an event with rave reviews?

Good food is a definite plus, decor and flowers can transform an ordinary room, but music has the charm to hold an event together, gently shifting it from phase to phase.

Music gives an event its personality and pacing — it can create a mood or promote a theme, according to professional party planners.

At a wedding, musicians perform the mitzvah of bringing joy to the bride and groom.

One orchestra leader explains: "During the ceremony, it should be like a dream. When the bride walks down the aisle, she should float on the music. And after the groom breaks the glass, we dance them out of the room."

"Music is the life of the party," adds one professional special events manager

People will often stay late to dance and enjoy good music. On the flip side, if they don't like the music, they leave an event early.

How do you find sensitive musicians just right for your special occasion? Orchestra leaders say their best advertising is word-of-mouth, recommendations from people who have heard them at a similar events, like their sound and style, and pass their names on to others.

Charlotte Sanders, leader of Charlotte Russe Music & Entertainment, an ensemble that plays everything from classics to klezmer, finds that most people get referrals from someone "whose opinion they value and whose taste they share."

Often, you will find an orchestra you like at an event held by family or friends.

To learn more about recommended musicians and assure yourself that the ensemble's style suits your event, request an information package.

It will contain letters from satisfied clients. Look for those who have held similar events to yours and call them for references.

A demonstration tape — most have audio, some also have video — will usually be in the package. If not, request a tape.

If the sound pleases you, follow up by phone for a better sense of the musicians' ability to meet your needs. Ask if the band consists of dedicated, full-time musicians who are accustomed to playing together. Avoid pickup bands with part-time musicians.

Next you'll want to meet in person to establish a rapport with the leader and be sure that you can work comfortably together Once you select an orchestra, discuss the theme and sequence of the event and work out the musical continuity with the leader.

"No two events are the same," says Ken Gross, a Juilliard-trained musician who has performed classical as well as party music. "Everything we do is customized to the particular client's taste."

Gross and other leaders will try to guide clients if they seem to be making a mistake. Clients almost always say, "You were right."

To determine the client's preferences, some orchestra leaders give clients a detailed questionnaire to complete, others have lengthy meetings and some do both. The communication process plays a large role in helping the client choose a music style that will work.

It also helps the musicians know what to play. However, most musicians agree that they have to be able to read the crowd and adapt during the event.

"You take all the information, but you really sense what will work when you walk in and see the crowd," says one veteran musician.

Most events begin with a "gather and greet" cocktail reception, where the music creates an ambiance and sets a welcoming mood. It should be easy to listen to the music and converse at the same time. Well-modulated background music masks the clatter of dishes and silverware so that "the room doesn't sound like a cafeteria," Sanders advises.

"Music softens the room," Gross says. "It's like a pleasant wallpaper."

Often the cocktail music is provided by a few members of the orchestra who will perform later for dancing. When the guests enter the dining room, the music turns upbeat, but not raucous, to set a lively tone behind conversation or to start people dancing, depending on the type of event.

Music doesn't have to be loud to be good, most orchestra leaders agree.

During dinner, the orchestra may perform a music show or continue with background music.