If your son got a box of pencils as a bar mitzvah present, he might wonder what planet the gift giver just flew in from. If someone gave your daughter an eraser for her bat mitzvah, she would probably laugh it off as an amusing gag gift.
But if you and your child were Ethiopian immigrants living in Givat Hamatoz, a temporary housing caravan in Israel, those basic school supplies would be received with much happiness and gratitude.
While Jewish kids in this country are busy preparing for their bar or bat mitzvah services, they’re also daydreaming of parties and presents. In our land of plenty, marking this milestone with an open checkbook is a given.
In Israeli towns like Lod and Ramla, Ethiopian kids attend school and daydream about their upcoming b’nai mitzvah, too. But they live in some of Israel’s poorest communities, and the grand scale of even the most humble, American-style simcha celebration would floor them.
So while you’re thinking about ordering multi-layered invitations at more than $5 a piece or shelling out big bucks to hire a pilot to write “Mazel Tov, Moshe” in the sky above your palatial party venue, please consider this: For $180, you can double the mitzvah and share the simcha.
The North American Conference on Ethiopian Jewry is a non-profit organization that is making children’s dreams come true. No, they’re not collecting funds in the United States to send Ethiopian kids to Disney World or buy them CD burners for their bar and bat mitzvahs. They’re reconnecting these kids to their proud past and giving them hope for a brighter future.
By signing up for the conference’s “twinning program,” you and your child can make it possible for underprivileged children in Israel to have a group bar or bat mitzvah at the Western Wall. There won’t be a lavish reception with a choice of prime rib or poached salmon afterwards, but there will be a bus to transport the kids and their families to Jerusalem for a day that will reaffirm the bond that links all Jews together.
While part of the funds contributed by American families might go toward a coming-of-age religious ceremony, the majority is always used for educational purposes. That can mean software for the school computer, books for the library or common classroom tools for everyday assignments.
The children from Ethiopia are eager to learn. But no matter how motivated they are, it’s hard to get a good foundation in math without pencils and protractors.
Since there are so many kids in need and not enough sponsors, the American participants’ money is used to provide for the Ethiopian twin’s entire class. So when an American child enrolls in the twinning program, he or she gets the name, address and background information of a similarly aged child in Israel plus the satisfaction that the whole class is benefiting. And, if the American twin visits Israel, the conference can arrange a meeting, something that twins have described as exciting, emotional and heartwarming.
Jason Ascher, who became a bar mitzvah in Manalapan, N.J., was paired with Alemo Ayalin of Ramla, Israel. Besides enrolling in the twinning program, Jason decided to help his Ethiopian twin’s school as his mitzvah project, something that many religious schools require before a bar or bat mitzvah. Jason collected school supplies, and they were sent to the conference’s headquarters in New York and then on to Israel.
Scott Tanzer, a Sharon, Mass. teen, twinned with Bisrat Argau, a resident of Givat Hamatoz. As part of his bar mitzvah celebration, Scott and his family visited Israel. Scott had been corresponding with his twin for many months and was happy to finally meet Bisrat. The Ethiopian family was very grateful for all the assistance Bisrat and his schoolmates were receiving. During the visit, Bisrat’s sister gave Scott a basket that she had made, a token of appreciation for all that the twinning has meant to the family. Scott and Bisrat are still pen pals.
Although you would be on the giving end of the twinning project, you would also receive a lot in exchange, including the satisfaction that comes from the knowledge that you are doing something to improve young Jewish lives. But aside from fulfilling the mitzvah of giving tzedakah, you would be teaching your child to care about others, especially those who are not as economically blessed as you are.
And there are tangible benefits for the American family as well. If you sign up for the twinning program, your rabbi will receive a special certificate to present to the bar or bat mitzvah at the service. In addition, you will get a beautiful bar/bat mitzvah gift: a hand-embroidered challah cover or pillow cover. These colorful and traditional gifts are made by Jewish artisans in Addis Abbaba. They are suitable for framing or display in your home.
Other mitzvah opportunities for bar and bat mitzvah families and for anyone else who wants to help the Ethiopian school children are available through the conference’s Duffel Bags for Israel Program. Here’s how that program works: Individuals, schools and organizations collect new school supplies here in the United States. Then duffel bags full of those rulers, markers and other needed items are brought to Israel by tourists, students and business travelers who donate part of their luggage allowance for the effort.
While your checkbook is still open, why not open your heart and get your kid a bar or bat mitzvah twin? Or donate a few boxes of pens or some calculators? Or do both? And you can multiply the mitzvot by asking your guests to bring school supplies to your child’s reception. Then you can send those items to the conference, where they will be packed in duffel bags and flown to Israel.
If you’d like more information about twinning or the Duffel Bags for Israel Program, contact Miriam Weissman, Twinning Program Coordinator, NACOEJ, 132 Nassau St., No. 412, New York, N.Y. 10038-2400, (212) 233-5200, e-mail at [email protected]