Driven mad by the hot Israeli sun, Jonathan Garfinkel crawls into the shade of an abandoned train car on a residential street in Jerusalem and watches graffiti with messages of hate in Hebrew and Arabic dance before his eyes as he falls asleep.
The hallucinatory nap is one of several near-breaking points for the Toronto poet, who goes to the Middle East to understand the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and recounts his journey in his memoir, “Ambivalence.”
Garfinkel’s ideological journey begins in Canada with an encounter with Rana, an Palestinian woman whom he meets at a film festival.
Over sweet Arabic coffee, Rana tells Garfinkel about a Jewish man in Jerusalem who rents a home from a Palestinian man, Abu Dalo. Inspired by the seemingly peaceful living arrangement of Abu Dalo and his Jewish tenant, Shimon, a curious Garfinkel travels to Israel to write about the story.
Garfinkel grew up surrounded by Jewish tradition and Zionist attitudes, but as he approaches his 30s he finds that something is missing. Like many Jews, Garfinkel turns to Israel to fill the hole, hoping to gain affirmation of his faith by learning about the home Rana mentioned, where an Arab and Israeli coexist peacefully.
His memoir captures the ambivalence of his journey, but it also drives him to brink of insanity and presents him as somewhat psychotic.
At first, he hears the voices of his day school teacher, grandmother, and religious girlfriend who all remind him of his Jewish roots and his Zionist upbringing.
But when he describes a reassuring talk with his dead father at the Western Wall and an argument with his elementary school teacher on a public bus, it becomes clear that Garfinkel loses his footing as he is faced with the reality of the Israeli-Palestinian situation.
Much of what he learns contrasts with the ideas he was taught were facts at his Jewish day school. As Garfinkel’s old beliefs slip away, his sanity seems to leave him as well.
Searching for the answer to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in the lives of Abu Dalo and Shimon, Garfinkel finds only that he has much to learn before he can even begin to reconcile such a complex situation.
Abu Dalo and Shimon do not get along as Garfinkel presumed. Despite the irony and beauty of an Israeli renting a home from a Palestinian man, neither is happy with their current situation — it just sort of happened.
After his meetings with Abu Dalo and Shimon, Garfinkel finds that his black-and-white idea of the Israeli-Palestinian situation has grayed further.
On his journey for understanding, Garfinkel has smaller adventures that add to his appreciation of the land and its history as well as provide much of the book’s humor.
Immediately after arriving in the Holy Land, Garfinkel finds himself sleeping on a stranger’s couch, partying with people he has known for only a few hours. And, perhaps to better see things from a Middle Eastern perspective, he takes up smoking. He also finds himself stumbling, dehydrated from too much wine and sun, into that Jerusalem railcar, falling asleep into a hallucination.
Woven into Garfinkel’s escapades are eye-opening truths that key the reader into the reality of Israel: Both Palestinians and Israelis are guilty of perpetuating the violence that fuels the conflict. Garfinkel witnesses Israeli soldiers beating an innocent Palestinian boy at a checkpoint; he feels the weight of fear following a terrorist attack.
Garfinkel’s memoir takes its reader on a journey that encourages examination of self and of other. As an ambivalent Jew, he describes the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from the perspective of the Israelis and the Palestinians. Despite his Jewish heritage and upbringing, he is able to question the morality of Israelis and Palestinians.
“Ambivalence” by Jonathan Garfinkel (340 pages, W. W. Norton and Company, $28.50)