Sign up for Weekday J and get the latest on what's happening in the Jewish Bay Area.

Personal memories of Sagan

Thank you for your in-memoriam “Return of ‘Cosmos’ prompts recollections of Carl Sagan” (April 25).

As a child, I was riveted by Sagan’s 1980 PBS series “Cosmos,” which ran at the pinnacle of a remarkable era in space science. The Apollo moon landings were still a recent cultural memory, the Viking spacecraft had landed on Mars just four years earlier, and Voyager 1 flew past Saturn while the series was running.

 I was fortunate to meet Sagan on Oct. 22, 1994, when he visited U.C. Berkeley to deliver the George C. Pimentel Memorial Lecture. After his speech, he took questions from the audience, including one from me. Then, after most of the audience members had left, he took the time to meet with me and a few other interested students. I was touched by his humility and his irrepressible enthusiasm for teaching and inspiring others. Sagan’s lifelong focus may have been on the stars, but as a person, he was genuinely down to earth.

Stephen A. Silver   |   San Francisco

 

Love doesn’t conquer all

I have been a licensed marriage and family therapist for 34 years. Dawn Kepler’s column (“I’m Jewish, she’s Asian — what will our future kids be?” June 6) on interfaith families is valuable, but her response was terribly incomplete.

She writes of an Asian Catholic–Jewish couple who are “getting serious,” and he’s scared about how kids raised in such a marriage will fare. Kepler gives plenty of reasonable advice on how to maximize the chance that this would-be family and their kids could manage OK. She forgot to mention, however, that many Catholic-Jewish and mixed-race couples don’t manage OK. They may face nonsupportive families or friends. And since parenting affects virtually every aspect of a couple’s life, many of them face years of chronic marital conflict.

Too many young people want to believe that “love conquers all.” It doesn’t. A group of mixed couples will give predictable advice — “it’s hard, but we’ve done it, and it’s worth it.” Unfortunately, there’s no group of mixed couples who split up or regret marrying or having kids that young people can consult for advice. Your columnist owes it to readers (and those writing in) to give a full picture of the complex, sometimes-tragic situation they’re considering — and to suggest that ending such a relationship before marrying is an option they should consider.

Marty Klein   |   Palo Alto

 

Blessed to be accepted

As a gay Jewish couple raising a mixed-race daughter, the issues of Jewish identity and race come up all the time. It’s been very important for us to make sure that our daughter is part of Jewish life to foster her Jewish identity. We enrolled her in Jewish preschool, and now that she will start public school in the fall, we’ve already signed her up for Hebrew school at our synagogue.

I think the advice Dawn Kepler offers to this couple is direct and to the point, and I think if they follow her advice, it will allow them to talk it out. Finding the right synagogue where they feel comfortable is key. We feel very blessed that not only is our daughter welcomed openly at our synagogue, but we, as a gay couple, are welcomed just as warmly.

Francisco Caravayo   |   San Francisco

Tribute to school librarian

I am an upcoming senior at Jewish Community High School of the Bay. I have grown up with the wonderful Bay Area Jewish community and have had many great role models. However, I think there is one woman in particular who should be highlighted.

Adele Dorison is the librarian at JCHS and is retiring this year. A licensed lawyer, Ms. Dorison became our librarian because of her love of reading. She always has 15 books on display and comes into classrooms to help with major research projects. She also is the adviser for the literary magazine, a published book of students’ writing.

But what makes Ms. Dorison so special is her kind, supportive spirit. Whenever I go to the library (which is pretty often with homework and tutoring), I am inspired to read and learn. Our conversations make my day. Once I was staying late at school and she offered me a snack because I was working so hard.

Ms. Dorison has made me a reader, and I am so honored to know and look up to her. Our school community said goodbye to her, but I think the wider community should know the impact she has made on so many lives. I will miss her.

Izze Lahn-Schroeder   |   San Francisco

 

Time for a revolution

In a world that has become highly customized and individualized, there is no more “one size fits all” for just about anything we do. We see it everywhere. It’s our clothes. Our music. Our technology. Our education. And our Judaism. Young people are enmeshed in a world full of choices but are often presented with the same “one size fits all” approach to Judaism and Jewish education.

At the same time, we feel the strong pull of a rich heritage rooted in community, not individualism. The tension is most prominently felt in the celebration of b’nai mitzvah. Families are seeking something special and personally meaningful. But the ritual was designed to occur in the context of community and during a regular communal event — the Torah service.

The recent article “DIY b’nai mitzvah: Bay Area families take charge of coming-of-age ritual” (May 9) described how a few families in the Bay Area are trying to make personalized and meaningful experiences for their families.

For many decades now, synagogues have been setting educational and ritual standards for families to reach b’nai mitzvah. Children put extraordinary effort into preparing for the ceremony and often feel quite accomplished on their big day. But this modern system has also left families and congregations dissatisfied.

 In the B’nai Mitzvah Revolution we call this individual-vs.-communal issue a “value tension.” BMR congregations are wrestling with this issue and experimenting with new ways of upholding both values.

 Synagogues around the country are leading the charge in rethinking how Jewish children should come of age in the modern world. You can read more at www.bnaimitzvahrevolution.org and see examples of what’s happening around the country on our new Interactive Guide to B’nai Mitzvah Innovations.

Anna Marx   |   New York City

BMR project manager  

 

Putting unity gov’t to the test

There is a very simple test for the new unity government in the Palestinian territories. There are thousands of rockets and missiles in the Gaza Strip. Such weaponry was not permitted by the Oslo accords as agreed to by the Palestinian Authority. If the Palestinian Authority is telling the truth, that this unity government will honor all previous international agreements, then those rockets and missiles need to be dismantled.

Hamas has declared that it has no intention of disarming or giving up its goal of destroying Israel. If Abbas is telling the truth, those rockets will be destroyed. If not, then he is lying.

I think we all know the answer. The real question is how long will it take the world to accept facts on the ground and get their heads out of the clouds.

Gil Stein   |   Aptos